Did his kids' kids call him grandpoop? 

Marketing Daniel Craig as 007 was a blond Bond sell. 

Sign-in to your library’s web site using your card number and look under periodicals. 

For very low values of spooky. 

🕯

The first Space Shuttle mission was cut short because the shit failed to hit the fan. 

The 1918 Kansas Flu. It probably started here, and was carried to Europe with the troops. 

Did he sooie the artist? 

Bred and buttered. 

Wow, sounds like someone reinvented the toothpaste roller, which has been a thing since the ‘70s, if not earlier. 

Wow. They can’t find a fifty year old, paper job application.

It's all over but the lawsuits. 

I'd go through a couple'f those a month when I was a kid. 

Can't touch that. 

Bank teller, “How are you today?”

The trick to not having any of the dry powder in the finished product is leave the macaroni in the colander, melt the butter in the pot using the residual heat, stir the powder into that until you have a paste, add the liquid and whatever flavoring (black pepper, hot sauce, etc.), stir, then put the macaroni back in…

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Did you try to use that argument when you went to enroll your kids in school? 

hashtag year and a half old news alert 

But Jimmy Dore never has to say "President Hillary Clinton", and that's what's important.