If your finger is strong enough, you can push a natural cork into the bottle. 

What's a "vacation"? 

Is this a reprint from last year?

There isn’t a pond on the playa.

What was Ed Gein’s favorite restaurant?

Ear Hustle podcast, straight outa San Quentin, http://feeds.earhustlesq.com/earhustlesq

Wonder what he’d’ve done if he’d been given

Funny thing is, the people who started Burning Man are the ones who used to make The City cool. 

An old friend got tired of me saying I wished I’d been born sooner, so I could’ve experienced The Sixties, and yelled, “You like being clean too much, and would’ve been miserable!” Fortunately, I realized twenty-something years ago that the same applies to Burning Man.

Would you settle for the guy who keistered a Roman candle, and ended up with a colostomy, in addition to losing part of his junk? 

💖

Work from a bathtub partially filled with cold water. Stay in there 'til your tush starts to turn pruney. 

“...heaping tablespoon of condensed milk...”

Stuttering John used to do Fridays on the Stephanie Miller Show. I seem to recall him saying he had Trump’s cell number, and they’d been on a first name basis. 

“The Jews are not Semitic they are Satanic as they all descend from Satan.”

Illiterate.

Live in a city? List it in the free stuff section on Craigslist. Unless it's only suitable for burning, there will be someone out there who will be grateful to have it. 

Live in a city? List it in the free stuff section on Craigslist. Unless it's only suitable for burning, there will…

Doesn't this mean Casper is running their best ever deal through Amazon? 

Doesn't this mean Casper is running their best ever deal through Amazon?