“And then...and then...he said, ‘Why are you giving all these rich people tax breaks? Why don’t you give more money to the poor who actually need it?!’”

You had me at Kellyanne Conway Talks Dangerous Nonsense

Well, she does have a “bona fide” relationship with an American citizen: her son.

Oh, this is an easy one: No.

Here I was thinking Erlich was just some character on a TV show portrayed by T.J. Miller. Turns out, that was just who T.J. is all along.

If there is actually some sentient-being watching over this planet and the human beings on it - not likely given the state of this world but still, if - please don’t let Justice Kennedy retire. Out of all the reasons I chose to vote for Clinton, the Scalia vacancy and getting a liberal SC was pretty much top of my…

If the president truly cares about the safety of the American people, I’d suggest he start acting like it and shutting the fuck up. Or, even better, he could just outright resign and spare us whatever catastrophe(s) might occur during the next 3.5 years.

States Rights! As long as the states choose to follow the GOP way.

Finally! My default reaction right now to any lootbox I open is basically “Oh look, more duplicates.” It sucks.

I would think once they see their insurance premiums shoot through the roof and they’re all the sudden unable to afford decent health insurance anymore that maybe it would finally sink in. On the other hand, I do have this sinking suspicion that you’re right in that they would find someone else to blame - or, more…

Fuck yeah! Drain that swamp and turn it into a toxic cesspool!

Are you saying he’s one of the lizard people?

Not entirely sure how taking less than 5 seconds to go from “Sir, I’m just letting you know I have a gun on me” to “Don’t pull it out! *8 gunshots*” isn’t murder.

the NL Central is just waiting for the Indians to get their shit together and leave the Royals and Twins behind.

Man, what’s eating Gilbert Grape?

He’s probably still trying to figure out how to throw in a mention about how important his travel ban is to protect us so let me help him out:

Does he get two scoops of ice cream for saying so many big words in the correct order?

It sounds like he mouth-sexed a can of helium.

I had pretty much forgotten Pam Anderson still existed until I saw this story come up over the weekend. I’d like to go back to those simpler times now.

That’s an Oscar-worthy performance right there.