Not even Jack Handey had thoughts this deep.

I know this is overused at this point but it is so so appropriate.

Jesus, this is really going to happen, isn’t it? The woman who should’ve won to provide steady and level-headed leadership to this country didn’t and now the woman who should not win because she’s ready to basically tear apart France and the EU is, at the very least, going to the run-off. At this point, I have no…

How much is next-day air to the Broken Isle?

Shh, don’t tell that to Peter Thiel.

It’s nothing but a giant monument to xenophobia and waste.

That’s a little unfair. The GOP clearly cares about American lives too, provided you’re white and rich.

He was looking forward to 4 more years of tormenting Hillary and wasting taxpayers’ money with frivolous committee investigations but, now that Herr Leader is in charge, he’s realized that he might actually have to open some real and substantial investigations and that is soooo not what he signed up for.

There are only 2 things Jeff Sessions definitively knows:

Not true. We have quite a few gigantic dicks in this state and, oddly enough, most are politicians.

Looks like she’s there to remind him of the mess he left when he went away.

Honest question: is there anyone who works at ICE who isn’t an asshole? I don’t know how anyone can go home and sleep well at night knowing they’re ripping families apart just because one or more members committed the heinous crime of coming here illegally to try and make a better life for themselves and their family.

Thank God for her emails, right comrade?

Thankfully, our House doesn’t seem too keen to take up the Senate bill. It certainly could still happen but it seems like less of a priority for them.

Yes, former governor, it’s great news that your state keeps treating a certain group of human beings as less than human because they’re somewhat different than what society deems “normal”. Honestly, fuck these people.

I’m the same age as this guy and I’m sitting in a cube farm posting on Jezebel during my work day. Clearly, I have not made the correct life decisions.

I absolutely refuse to say “our president” when I talk about him. He’s not my president but he is the current president of the US. I’ll acknowledge that much but I’m sure as hell not claiming ownership. It’s too embarrassing to think this waste of space somehow conned his way into the most powerful office in the…

Let’s stop blaming this on Trump. He’s clearly just a sock puppet and, this time, it’s Mike Pence’s turn to shove his hand up the ass to make the puppet make noises.

True, I work with some people like that and it has certainly skewed the work relationship a little. I try to remember that, outside of our politics, these people aren’t that bad but it’s hard. On the whole though, the younger generation seems more accepting of diversity and equality, which is good, because the world…

Considering a large majority of his voters seem to be 60+, I’d say quite a few of them won’t be alive much longer to regret their decision, not that they would anyways.