Oh no. Not a husband. And i couldn't honestly say just a friend either, but maybe a paramour? It's a complicated situation involving me leaving the country next month.

Also, he is constantly getting me weird flavors of ice cream. Pints. We share them. I left him a sticky note on one of the pints and he turned it into an origami frog, which i have given a post-it lily pad and named Jim.

I was coming in off an overnight shift (which is only like once a year for a few days) and this was very early in our mutual satisfaction taking endeavors, and it was the exact opposite reaction from what i was expecting. My own mother avoids curling up next to me on the couch in winter because my knees, hands and…

The time when, coming home in the middle of the night and freezing, climbing into bed with him and he rubs my hips, exclaims "jeez you're so cold!" and then pulls me in close to him to warm me up rather than shy away from the cold.

Blue Bell Ice Cream. You have the cheese and the maple syrup, but Blue Bell will always be the best ice cream.

You know, of the times I've gotten wasted, and I mean totally falling down drunk, somehow, magically, I managed not to get raped. It was great. You know, it might have been because my brother and my male friends are fucking rapists, but I must not have actually been drunk enough.

Okay, then. Let's analyze your original post from top to bottom.

It's fabulous hair crack. I'm glad to be of help.

I do not know if anyone has recommended this to you, but I found so much helpful info on this website.

"I'm a woman..." Well there you go. I hated the gym for this exact reason. It's the same machines with the same readouts that does the exact same thing.

I'm going to Korea in February for a year or two. Hello inexpensive jjimjilbang! On the daily!

I feel like that can and will be used against you someday. Numerous hilarious/awkward scenarios come to mind that I really shouldn't share.

Don't know if you've tried it yet, but Paul Mitchell Super Skinny Serum (or the Super Skinny Balm, if you have any scalp oil issues) are my go to's for frizz and dryness. If you have a friend who is a beautician, she can go into the Armstrong McCall and get them in bulk at less than retail prices. But the bottles last…

See, here's my issue. If I'm nice and calm and let them down easy, I'm just friend zoning them, and they hold out hope and harass me until i actually am mad enough to bitch them the fuck out and call them out on stalking me. And then, when I'm honest, i get called a bitch and a slut and various other names. And if i…

While it is possibly one of the most aurally pleasing words I use on a semi-regular basis, the whole idea behind it is so hilariously wrong.

Will someone give me a ride from Austin to OSU? The sharp implements in my bag won't be for whoever will take me there, I can assure you.

Sprezzatura. Why haven't we ditched this Italian Renaissance idea yet?

Unrelated pun fail.

It's snot exactly easy maneuvering cars through slush and water and ice. One should take care of one's car to make sure it's snot going to go careening off the edge of the road because the tires are bald.

It's snot the best condition to drive in.