So much more ambitious than the post-it note cones I made for my Ken Block hot wheels car.

No, actually. It will not be impossible. I'm 5'11''.

But... what if someone you know just HAPPENS to have a hearse that has no coffins, caskets, bodies, or unsavory smells/substances?

It is very good for just those things. That being said, I would talk about it with your current/future partner(s), since they might be like WTF IS THIS WHY DO YOU HAVE BIRTH CONTROL WHEN I CAN'T GET YOU PREGNANT!

Okay. Problems.

U.S. Bureau of Justice Statistics only count reported and convicted rapes. What about the guys who get away with it, or the girls who don't come forward, or the "grey" rapes that people don't count?

It's not so much an assumption as it's a they-know-I-only-see-them-as-a-friend-but-they-still-try-to-make-a-move kind of situation. They expressed a carnal interest in me.

I feel like I should start carrying around a small spiral bound copy of this article, a tape recorder, go to bars dressed all bar-appropriately, let guys hit on me, bust out the tape recorder and do the Jeff Corwin voice "and here we have a fine Chivalrous Stranger specimen, exhibiting his mating call of 'Smile!…

Every response to this article just proves the point over and over and over again ad nauseum.

Ahem. Smith College (my alma mater) had semi regular pet-a-pet days, where pets would be brought by faculty or staff our even just townies so people could play with them.

Despair. In the "greatest of sins" sense.

I came up with a name for this phenomenon. "Dude-sitting" Freaking, the dude bros with the dude sitting all the fucking time. I saw this tiny girl once, on a bus, basically being crushed by a dude doing this. So I made eye contract with the dude, looked him up and down, and said "yeah, your dick is not that big, close…

Okay, we're not asking dudes to sit with the aspirin between their knees. That is not the goal here. When your knees are literally three feet apart and taking up three seats on a bus, I'm going to throw something hard and pointy at your junk. You're giving me target practice, at that point. It's not too much to ask…

New boyfriend (sexy boyfriend), hasn't had sex in ages, always wants to have his hands somewhere on me, invites me over to his totally empty apartment for a few hours. His roommate gone. Her child is in another city entirely. We have the run of the place.

You are, clearly, NOT a regular of Jalop, or you would know how very much they frown upon trolling here. You are a disgrace and a troll and I will be gleefully reporting you to the mods at Jalopnik. You are not welcome here.

Men don't release(? excrete? what is the proper verb here?!?!) as much oxytocin during orgasm. It's because monogamy is useful, biologically.

Think children and the elderly.

I concur. I was in Seoul a while back for a little over a month, and I mastered navigating the subways in less than a week. The buses in Seoul, however, are an entirely different story.

I imagine that, rather than the money spent/saved being the issue, the idea of police and emergency services manpower being fungible is the more important issue. For every cop that doesn't have to patrol the marathon route, that is a cop that can deter widespread looting/ help with removing bodies/ make sure the…