Why aren’t these survivors utilizing the vast pool of thoughts and prayers resources that the GOP and NRA sent?

Guns make suicide attempts deadly.

“Your dead child is the price you have to pay for me to have a gun.”

Wow! At last Streisand has something to talk about at her weekly “Assholes Anonymous” meeting besides her obnoxious shopping mall basement.

But it doesn’t sound like she doesn’t believe Jackson’s a child molester, it sounds like she thinks Jackson should get a pass because they got to be in his presence and Jackson as much a victim as them because... the parents?

She’s talking about it like it’s just some weird fetish. I just wish the interviewer would…

Don’t mush your baby, Duchess Meghan !!!

His sexual needs were his sexual needs, coming from whatever childhood he has or whatever DNA he has.

I saw Cera and a bunch of his dude-bro friends at a restaurant in my neighborhood once, and they were super obnoxious and annoying.

A bartender acquaintance of mine served JLaw a few times, and this tracks. She can hold her liquor. She was also really fun and smoked joints with the staff out-back, apparently.

When you consider all the bad takes that have come about since the documentary, it takes a lot of work to become the shittiest among them. But then, Babs has always aspired to be the best among the best.

I was gonna say, THIS TOO PERFECT AND CLEVER TO BE REAL -- but with the added context... LOL, bravo my friend.

This is familiar, but my mom told ME to write my own notes, so I can’t claim it! It was sweet, though. She had these personalized notepads for work with her name on them and she gave me one to keep in my backpack to make the note look more convincing. What a fucking gem. 

I did almost the same thing, except that I never had a legit note from my mom in the first place. I just started writing my own notes because I could do her handwriting (tho without a legit note, matching the writing was pointless. I was stupid). I also intercepted the calls to confirm, by writing on the end of each…

Omg I love this!! I did something similar - I used to write notes for my mom to sign saying I was getting off at a different bus stop. I’d write them in pencil, she’d sign and then I’d erase them to use as an excuse blank or note for early dismissal. Once I could drive it didn’t work anymore (cuz I wouldn’t need a bus…

I can’t take full credit. The idea came from my friend who had been writing his own letters since like 7th grade because his parents didn’t write English.

Not sure if this counts as doing something to win, per se, but maybe the shadiest—and to this day perhaps smartest—thing I ever did involved permission slips and absence/tardy excuse notes in high school. Starting with my freshman year, any time I missed school for a dentist appointment or because I was sick or…

This one time I sent exhaustive polling data to Russian intelligence so they could pinpoint a disinformation campaign to help me win the presidency of the United States.

I was born white, male, and middle class?

I’ll pick you back up.

Have you ever been to American wedding?