Ah, the classic WTF am I supposed to do with this stupid thing situation. 

He gave me a grocery/drug store bouquet on the first date that I then had to carry around like some bargain basement Miss America. I don’t like cut flowers because they remind me of hospitals, funerals, and death in general, but that it was a cheap ass bouquet accented by plenty of Gerber daisies that I couldn’t…

My deal breaker is crying over someone buying you lunch. You know you dodged a bullet, right?

I introduced a guy I was dating to my Dad and we all went out to dinner. Within 15 minutes, they were finishing each other’s sentences. They ordered near-identical meals. I was squicked out when I realized how much he was like my Dad. I broke up with him soon after.

At the start of sixth grade, I tried to make “Christopher Columbus!” - Little Women - happen. This is second only to the tube top disaster a short while later.

This was hardly an attempt at a full reinvention, but it was a small, failed attempt at something that remains a mystery to me to this day. See, I was never a cool kid—a total nerd, geek, and dork—always behind current styles. In middle school, my social goal was simply to keep my head down and not stand out.

Love love love this scene

lmao it’s been so long since I saw the film that at first I thought you were talking about the scene where she falls (is pushed?) down the stairs and miscarries. which definitely had me raising my eyebrows for a second there.

During the summer between 7th and 8th grade, I decided I was going to start calling everyone at school “hon.” I don’t know why. I’m not Southern. I can’t for the life of me explain how I came up with “hon,” but I think I just wanted to be known around campus for having a “thing.” And my “thing” would be calling…

My summer reinvention was a reluctant and failed one.

BOBBY WTF ARE YOU DOING HERE

*Externally screaming*

When I was 22 I met a guy that I immediately had chemistry with. Through talking all night, he told me he hates mayonnaise. I, being too young to know that it’s okay to have your own opinions in regards to condiments, immediately agreed that I found mayonnaise disgusting...WHICH IS A LIE. I love the stuff!

That’s still no excuse to try and impress Paul Ryan!

I spoke in tongues at a weird non-denominational church service that my mom (a liberal Methodist) didn’t want me to attend. I was crushing on this evangelical pastor’s son, and my friend who was dating his brother invited me to attend services with her. I’d never seen a rock band in church before, or people jumping…

When I was a sophomore in college my university paid for this company that did mobile std testing to come park their gigantic trailer on campus. I was hanging out after lunch with a big group of people that included my crush (he and I were just acquaintances), and as people gradually left it was eventually just me and…

God this is so cringy. I was 19 and needed to look super, extra hot and sexy and attractive for my new bf, so after reading one incredibly dumb article in Cosmo, I followed their advice to shave - ummm, his initial - uh - down there. I spent a good twenty minutes perfecting it in the mirror and felt super sexy and…

What didn’t I do to get the attention of my childhood crushes? There are so many cringy stories, but I think one of my favorites was when I convinced my group of friends in middle school to all take turns licking the same Blow Pop. I made sure to lick the Blow Pop right after my crush did so I could get his saliva in…

Can someone please tell me how the outfits seem to go back and forth between yellow and pink? Lighting trick? I have been trying to figure this out during multiple viewings. (Please be kind to me when it’s a very obvious answer.)