Maybe a mandolin on the thinnest setting? I know this is cheating because it doesn’t require knife skills but it still might work. 

It’s possible but I’d be surprised. I think it’s a very Jezebel value to be sensitive and avoid talking about a teenager’s looks. Especially a 15 year-old who has essentially grown up in the public eye.

Did ya use a razor blade? I think think the razor blade is key.

As a fairly recent new parent who used “drugs” as a teenager, I would surmise the author has never used “drugs”, or the article probably would have been written with that nuance. It reads like it’s a chapter about drug addiction copied and pasted from a parenting book published in 1999. Never mind that this is written…

All the weight is in the floor, so it’s probably not bad.

I love when Paulie slices the garlic so thin it dissolves in the pan.

Does Millie Bobbie Brown look different? Let’s see, did you, Joan Summers, look different between the ages of 11 and 15? But sure, let’s speculate. And invite others to, as well!

Theresa’s time in prison was probably much different.

I thought you guys were talking about chicken sandwiches... Wtf are you talking about.. Morals? Politics? It's a chicken sandwich bros. Just eat it. Christ.. Smh.. 

It varies pretty wildly by market, generally the employees at the Popeyes locations in my locale are not even the same species when it comes to customer service vs the Chickfila operations. 

After handling a 3 year old all day, your energy for grandstanding about protesting fast food protests is rather diminished.

I’m just telling you how it is, no artifice or bullshit.

I guess I can kind of see that, since it’s creamy and not more oil slick-y like the Cheetos sauce seems to be... Still, the future is still the flaming hot Cheetos skinwich. I know you can do something that'll blow this out of the water. Put me down for the Kickstarter contribution now.

I do think its purpose is strictly as binding agent. Holds the disparate textures together, if you will. 

My first thought was “WTF were they thinking?!”

This has nothing to do with STEM.

I’ve seen AP Chem students and college engineering and physics majors do this same dumb kind of shit. Some people just don’t think carefully before they act and need to get bit hard by reality before they truly understand the concept of consequences.

Damn, that kid now has a permanent scar from this.

How is “I Eat Ass” derogatory in the slightest? Sounds like a pretty positive statement to me!

This should have been published on The Takeout