When I used to work at a grocery store, the register rang up Land O’Lakes Buttermilk as “LOL BUTT MILK” which is only tangentially related to this but I found it 10000% hilarious.

Man, try working at a coffee shop. I don’t know how many people I’d get who’d want their milk steamed to “EXACTLY 163.5 degrees!”

I could point out there’s a missing word here, but frankly, using “bacon” as a word is better than the more normal way to write this sentence.

I grew up vegetarian, have never willingly eaten meat. Accidents happen with a stray piece of chicken in a salad or such. But I know where ribs come from! I know what meats come from which animals! There is no excuse people because stupid isn't enough.

After adjusting the temperature of their water twice

The Reuben one reminded me of a story Terry Pratchett told. He said that one jet-lagged evening he accidently asked for Three Mile Island dressing for his salad. The waitress didn’t say a word, just brought him Thousand Island dressing and a bottle of hot sauce.

“I want a Greek Platter but I don’t do olives, I don’t do hummus, I don’t do cheese and bread hurts my stomach.”

I just know that at some point before I die I'm going to see a package of hamburger with a warning label "Contains meat." and it's going to be because of one of these idiots.

And please sign this White House petition asking the U. S. Government to accept more Syrian refugees for resettlement, to prove to our elected officials that we are not all insane bigots in this country.

Frankly, ALL students should take a semester of home ec, or whatever they call it. Most of these kids are going to be living on their own some day, and will need to know how to keep a house, cook basic nutritious foods, and mend clothing; and most of them are going to eventually have kids of their own that they’ll…

As backward as that is, I’m kind of impressed that an administration so committed to gender-roles let you swap, provided you freed up a space in the class you wanted to move into (which is why you needed the boy to trade places.)

I’m a Tex-pat. Whenever I go back to visit, I’m inevitably asked “when” (not “if”) my husband and I are planning on moving back.

Not to mention they violated Ahmed’s civil rights by questioning him without his parents question when he requested them. To quote a scene from the Blues Brothers, “Boys, you’re in big trouble...”

Thank god someone in this country is will to ask the question “but how do white people feel right now?”

Actually, you know what? You can take Oklahoma with you.

Hey, the police made a mistake. Okay, a series of mistakes. Stupid and racist mistakes. Over several hours. Can’t we just let that go already?!?!

A+ everyone for multiple Jessica Fletcher gifs.

“You should feel good about yourself! But not too good. Feel a little bad about yourself, too, or the boys won’t like you and the girls will think you’re a bitch.”

I feel like if I had MORE confidence and maybe less boyfriend when I was younger I would have had a much more productive life.