I came here for this quote: “Have you ever fired your gun in the air and screamed, ‘AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!’?”

You’re kidding.

sometimes it’s a pleasure to flirt with a life you’ll never have and wouldn’t want.

I know someone posted this like, yesterday, but I feel it’s relevant here:

Change that to “clips his toenails outside” and we have a winner.

Stars for the correct use of “gorram” and also for the above Offerman quote.

Moar sshhhhtarz for youuuuuu.

Oh, that’s hilarious! I can’t tell you how many times I’ve sat around calling people I don’t like on the phone and describing, in graphic detail, how I’m going to murder them or their spouse. There’s nothing funnier than hearing the genuine terror in their voice after I’ve called several times and described their own…

Mr Burner: “Wanna do it when you get home?” Me: “Sure”

You made me LOL; thank you. We’ll see how many we get through. Drunk cooking will be the inevitable result regardless.

Found the Creme de Violette at the biggest wine store in town. It is indeed very sweet by itself. I’m working on the proportions of grapefruit and lime for my own tastes, but the recipe as written is well balanced. I used silver/blanco tequila too, which I always use for mixed tequila drinks bc it’s a little more…

Thanks for saying that. The age gap got smaller as I met more men who acted like adults.

Your sardonic sense of humor is too much for us to handle!

whatevs y’all. I’m a GD maxi dress and GD proud of it. I’ll rock ‘em all: empire waist, deep-V, chiffon, cotton, bodycon and caftan. The less I have to wax the better.

I know it’s a lot of autotune but if Snoop can sing half that well I don't know why he's been holding out on us. I could listen to an all R&B Snoop album.

I have nothing to contribute but since I couldn’t million-star your comment, here I am. My cousin and I used to watch EGAE in secret at our grandmother’s house.

This is exactly how I ended up married. We hooked up for a few weeks bc it was convenient and realized we really liked each other. Then we went really slowly, questioned things every step of the way, broke up early on due to life logistics, realized we were willing to overcome them to be together, STILL went really…

I wore heels on a semi-regular basis until a couple of years ago and I enjoyed all the standard things about them: making me taller, lengthening the legs, immediately dressing up any outfit. Awesome. I never collected shoes the way some ladies do, so I was pretty happy with my small collection of heels. I have 2 pairs…

User justforthecomments did reference something that I read a few years back on a message board when I was researching cups. Some cup users claimed to save their menses and use it for painting and other art projects, which I consider a bit beyond the pale. My guess is these may be the types that show up and try to…

Late to the party but this deserves to make the list. Can I flag for awesome?