Speaking of comedy writers, John Oliver describing Sessions as “the unfortunate result of Dobby the House Elf’s one-night stand with a Confederate flag” was gold.

I agree. Especially since “pro life” seems to actually mean “pro life until you’re born, then you’re on your own, kid”.

So glad the health and welfare of literally millions of women is a fucking political game to you, Donny.

My mother, a well-educated Republican lady who leaned toward “bad boys” for husbands, would wax poetic about Bill Clinton and his “look” after a couple of glasses of wine. She would go on about his sensual lower lip, that way he had of looking up under his eyebrows, his lip-bite smile ... she was absolutely smitten…

There are a few options for keeping the tie flat along the buttons of the shirt — the tie bar, the tie tack/pin, or the tie chain (egad, chains are gauche!) Usually the skinny end can be slid through the label in the back. I’ve gained weight over time, so some of my older, favorite ties (which fit just fine when I was…

I now have a sudden need to train a classroom full of children to answer that same question with “GRAD SCHOOL AND HELL!”

2 + 2 = Jesus

Yeah, I have to say I’m particularly surprised that Rex is against this. I wonder if he knows of any...oh, I don’t know...rumors about any of the major oil companies planning to go big on renewables.

and: DON’T fuck these men. Ever. Do not mate with a man who, at his heart, thinks of women as incubators. Don’t do it. No anti-choicers, no fascists, no misogynists, no douche-bros, no religious nuts. Don’t fuck ‘em. Don’t even *smile* at them. Hell-fire... Make their lives an absolute hell. If one of these…

Hey, if that coma patient didn’t want it, she wouldn’t lay there with those tubes, looking like a hussy.

I’d be glad to volunteer to collect their ejaculate in a syringe and inject it back into their dicks. Please please let me do it. *searches for largest needle*

Spot on. And this...

But the alternative facts say it would happen.

They want government to be big enough to block a national border, but small enough to fit inside a woman’s uterus.

She’s part of the resistance.

He spent the time with his tiny hand on his micro-penis masturbating vigorously to all the media fawning over his “presidential” speech. 

I feel like Brando in Apocalypse Now but I’m trying.

I swear I wake up every morning waiting for the final domino to fall in this atrocious presidency. Then I call my senators (who don’t answer of course) sign 25 petitions that feel totally futile, and refresh my web pages incessantly until it’s time to drink myself into a stupor, fall asleep and do it all again the…

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA AAAAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA

Tangentially related, Tom Price’s seat in Georgia’s 6th district is up for grabs and I’m doing my best to help Jon Ossoff win. He has the endorsement of living legend John Lewis, and actually has a chance to flip the district.