Forget if he’s officially campaigning, we absolutely need to heed the voices of the American people and thus allow Hillary Clinton to select the next justice.

*Actual size.

To be fair, he’s only getting an early start because his impeachment will inevitably slow things down, re: campaigning.

Well, Howard Stern has been floating the theory that Trump secretly wants election investigations to take the job from him, so he can go back to just being a media whore whining about how unfair life has treated him — but only if he can play the victim through the process. It’s Stern, so, grains of salt with that shot…

Ugh I am still seeing people claim that Bernie TOTALLY could have beat Trump if the DNC hadn’t hijacked his campaign. I won’t make any silly claim either way, but I also think it’s fair to be skeptical that a self-described socialist Jew who looks close to 100 and has limited ties and support to the party whose…

perfect gif is perfect

The Weeknd was gonna have a birthday party at Dave & Buster’s? Holy shit, that’s so basic it has a pH of 20.

It isn’t his fault he was caught?

Seriously: where would we be without shawarma? Donairs/Doner Kebab? Falafel? HUMMUS?? Nowhere, that’s where!

People can also pry my Thai and Indian food from my cold, dead hands. My people’s hottest spice is the potato, so I’d be lost without these cuisines.

We still have sooooo much to learn about cuisines from around…

Can I come at you and shake your hand?

This summer, many farms in Washington state had trouble bringing crops in because immigration had tightened so considerably, the folks who typically made up the crews were either denied access or too worried to try. A public radio show interviewed farmers who said they’d posted help wanted ads. People without…

I executed the perfect Superbowl play. I do not care about the game. So I went to the always-insanely-packed Whole Foods near me and went grocery shopping. It was DESERTED. I was the only person checking out. It was like heaven! (And then I got home in time to see Lady Gaga kill it!)

I’m imagining the extra sting having McCarthy play him added to the Orange one and his troll watching. A WOMAN? A FAT WOMAN? OMG The horror. LOL.

Yeah, like when Tina Fey did that palin sketch, and they just had Fey repeat Palin’s lines verbatim. That was art man.

Oh God, SNL needs to do a mashup where the Trump crew meets their Hitler equivalents...

Those two other big stars will carry her around on their backs, and be grateful.

I know we are supposed to help build each other up as women, but she makes me want to smash her face in.

I’m going to see it on release day, in the afternoon, and sit in the back so that I can live tweet it and none of you can stop me.