Because playing on the Lions is, metaphorically speaking, the same thing.

WHY DOES THIS ONLY HAPPEN TO SUPER BOWL CHAMPIONS?! Its never “Some dipshit on the Lions shoots himself”

Typical hotshot corner who thinks he doesn’t need a safety.

I’ve accidentally shot myself in a strip club before but I just went to the bathroom and cleaned up a bit.

Maybe he was under extreme Burress.

Britain outlawed slavery-in 1833.

I’m surprised Baylor accepted that; everyone knows Ken Starr is not a fan of oral.

In this week’s SI, there’s a quote that really struck me:

I will never be a Clinton fan and I voted for Bernie in the state primary. That said, Bernie,

This just seems like an exercise in delusion or ego on the part of Sanders. He’s not going to win the nomination. He needs to realize this and start discussing coming together to defeat Trump.

Because sometimes the tree of liberty needs to be watered with the blood of whoever the fuck happens to be around.

Ken Starr’s world:

KerrPow!!

Vince Williams: [falls in gorilla cage]

The greatest prank Dan Gilbert ever pulled was convincing the world that his immature high jinx, and not his predatory loan empire, are his most odious quality.

I bet you wouldn’t be vilifying Ketchup if you knew that Mustard called him a sandwich before the race

Look, it happens. You have a fair bit of success and it makes you get a big head.

A simple solution: Appoint an independent counsel to investigate the problems at Baylor. I nominate William Jefferson Clinton.

Ken Starr: “I’m behind a veil of ignorance.”

Stacey, I have some good news for you. Even with all of the gun control you are supposedly against, you would still be able to have a gun! I know, it is so exciting. You know who wouldn’t be able to have a gun? Your abusive ex. Double win right there!