Are you SURE being dead is a disappointment? Some would have us believe it’s a lot like that beauty school in Grease.

Ripper is alive and well and was responsible for the Bowling Green Massacre.

Eh, mine was pretty painful and life-altering.

Ahahahahaha (dickon) hahahahahaha (dickon) hahahaha (dickon)

So I have this pet theory that one day in the nit too distant future, Chris Pratt is going to be widely loathed. I don’t have much evidence of this, but here’s what I think: I think his politics lean sharply to the right and he has a tendency to say dumb things. One day he’s going to say the wrong dumb thing and…

He should be in prison for life. This person has no place in society.

6.5 years doesn’t seem long enough for this shit if you ask me.

I was tending bar in a pretty small town and chatting up one of my best regular customers who excitedly told me his son, J who was just my age, was moving to town in a few months. I laughed it off and moved on until a few months later he said he couldn’t wait to set us up. I told him that I had started seeing someone…

Oh man, I was 30, just coming off this horrible spate of continual family tragedy, I was having a rough time with my friend circle and I was about to lose my job and I was and am a clinically diagnosed fattyboombalatty. I was absolutely not looking for anything because it was about the worst possible time and I was…

I dated one guy for years, but it just didn’t move to a higher level. We liked each other, we got along great, but he wasn’t the one.

I left my phd program and ended my long-term relationship with my live-in girlfriend in the same month.

Short version, I met Mr. Grapes through a friend. Long version, I went on one date with a guy I met in a bar. He asked me for a second date, which I declined, but said we could still hang out as friends (I was 21 and naive enough to think that was possible). He seemed ok with it, so I didn’t think anything of it…

I’m admittedly a crappy gift buyer, but I think this is the very situation that a visa giftcard is made for. Gifts are nice, but she may have necessities that she needs to buy and not have the funds to cover it.

Congratulations on moving towards the PhD! That sounds so exciting!

Swimming among the rocks.

Mr. Bolling recalls no such inappropriate communications, does not believe he sent any such communications

I had wondered what that clanging sound was.

Anybody else just feel their vagina slam shut?

Possibly my fave gif in the universe.

I don’t want to do those things all the time