Yeah, but he’s a billionaire so the dough is made from artisanal wheat grown in fields of gold-flecked soil tended by 7 farmers, one from each continent*, selected for their sure, steady hands and love of the land.

“Jonathan Groff once made [Lea Michele] laugh so hard, she peed herself before singing in front of Obama.”

Everyone knows that the only true soul superpower is James Brown.

I will take that shit into consideration next time

It’s only a matter of time before some tiresome person shows up, wringing their hands and proclaiming that “we’re better than this” and “all vandalism is wrong.”

I’m opposed to vandalism and violence, but I believe this fits into the same category as “Always punch a Nazi.” 🌟🔨

I’m only disappointed to hear that the star goes some periods of time without being vandalized.

This sounds like the premise for a Sessions/Graham slash fic.

I gave birth last Saturday, when I was only 25 weeks along, because my high blood pressure turned into preeclampsia and then HELLP syndrome in a matter of days. Original plan was to keep me at the hospital for as many weeks as possible before delivery, but my labs turned bad and then worse and doctors think I would…

Garden thread anyone? We got an obscene amount of rain this weekend but I did manage to get 100+ plants into the ground over the last few days. Okra, peppers, eggplant, zucchini, herbs, cucumbers, squash etc. This is my biggest garden ever, I’m so excited.

I eloped yesterday! It was small and quick as hell and awesome.

I know social media isn’t the full story of anyone’s life but lately it seems like my Facebook feed is full of people taking trips-to Ireland, Hawaii, Disney World, New York, etc. Or they’re selling houses and moving into nicer houses. Or they’re all schmoopy about anniversaries. Meanwhile I’m contemplating divorce,…

Doubt it. You’d crack under the pressure.

I don’t care how much chlorine is in that water. It’s not enough.

Not enough of a fuss has been made about Ivanka going to Berlin for the W20 summit. She has no qualifications to work in policy, international law or norms, diplomacy, or women’s rights. She has no reason to be the representative for our country, other than being the daughter of the president. She is not a fucking…

*sobs*

Christ Almighty, what a dysfunctional toxic waste dump. The only person I feel any sympathy at all for is Barron.

This space has been traversed for nearly four months by Jared Kushner, whom I first met about 18 months ago, when he introduced himself after a foreign policy lecture I had given.

Who the fuck ARE these people?!

Also, bananas contain potassium-40 and are mildly radioactive. 50 a day is going to significantly increase your daily exposure.