Every time I hear Justin Bieber’s mother moan about how abortion should be illegal because “Look at who my son turned out to be”, I shoot out a hard snort. Lady, your son is a ringing endorsement for why abortion should be legal, cheap and readily available.

Her tweet made me roll my eyes so hard that I briefly passed out.

I’m going to ignore the first two stories, because ew, but can I just say how impressed I am with Amandla? Talk about living up to your name. I hope my kid grows up to be half as wise and aware at that age.

She was so freakin’ CUTE. I find it very sad that neither she, nor anyone else, will ever know how that adorable face might have matured. Because she - and her mother, who’d have had to give permission at minimum - didn’t think it was good enough.

It was the greatest twist of all time IMO as I would absolutely make Ryan Lochte my sex idiot but ESPECIALLY if he were repping Hut paraphernalia.

The only person I know is Lisa Rinna and that’s only because she played Logan’s mother on Veronica Mars.

I just turned 30. And it makes me very sad that I’m considered an old now. Very very very sad. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to throw on the first Now that’s what I call music while I flip through a coffin catalogue. Do we think a white coffin is tacky? I’ve got a lot of decisions to make.

I love this. I too grew up in a Jesus house and it was sad how, despite my mother’s reassurances that I could ‘tell her anything’, I really couldn’t. There was no way in hell I could bring up anything to do with pre-marital sex or fooling around, even if I just had questions. I learned about sex from my friends…

She seems to be on a Jolie style trajectory of becoming more political and outspoken as she gains more power and I’m kind of loving it. I’d be shocked if she took it as far, but it looks like she’s having the same “maybe I should do something with all this attention I’m getting” lightbulb moment.

they make her earlobes look ginormous.

I have the dark dysfunctional flip side to this story (but don’t worry, the outcome was extra ice cream and a story). When I was in third grade the teacher sent home a note that had to be signed (for a class trip, I believe). I was late handing it in because my parents were away. The next morning after they came home…

Kim has a terrible mean side. She can be rude and selfish but also so nasty to her family.

Usually I’m all meh on kim, but what the fuck. Mocking your brother’s health issues is such a douchebag thing to do.

It’s convenient that Kendall and Harry get caught canoodling right when he has an album out and she’s had multiple tabloids saying she’s gay. I’m not a conspiracy theorist about celebrity relationships, but the timing here is interesting.

they shell be known as Hairy KenDall

Just reply. It will show in our notices. It’s a practice that has it’s own logic. "It’s Own Logic." Keep in mind :/

No not yet. Though I also haven’t really looked yet. Yay procrastination! I own Jillian Michaels’ 30 Day Shred so I have that to fall back on if I don't find ones I like but I'm sure I will. Willing to take recommendations!

I can ungrey your comments by starring them, but you need Jezebel to follow you to have your comments automatically ungreyed. It took me nearly 3 years, so hang in there!

I woke up at 11.