I have the dark dysfunctional flip side to this story (but don’t worry, the outcome was extra ice cream and a story). When I was in third grade the teacher sent home a note that had to be signed (for a class trip, I believe). I was late handing it in because my parents were away. The next morning after they came home…

Kim has a terrible mean side. She can be rude and selfish but also so nasty to her family.

Usually I’m all meh on kim, but what the fuck. Mocking your brother’s health issues is such a douchebag thing to do.

It’s convenient that Kendall and Harry get caught canoodling right when he has an album out and she’s had multiple tabloids saying she’s gay. I’m not a conspiracy theorist about celebrity relationships, but the timing here is interesting.

they shell be known as Hairy KenDall

Just reply. It will show in our notices. It’s a practice that has it’s own logic. "It’s Own Logic." Keep in mind :/

No not yet. Though I also haven’t really looked yet. Yay procrastination! I own Jillian Michaels’ 30 Day Shred so I have that to fall back on if I don't find ones I like but I'm sure I will. Willing to take recommendations!

I can ungrey your comments by starring them, but you need Jezebel to follow you to have your comments automatically ungreyed. It took me nearly 3 years, so hang in there!

I woke up at 11.

I went for a walk on the beach this morning, let’s see how long I can keep that up.

....and he’s, umm, notoriously gay...

There was definitely a rumor about him being gay.

To be fair, I don’t think that I’d want someone who fantasizes about being Camilla Bowles’ tampon changing my child’s diaper.

In all seriousness, is she mid-stroke there?

• “ENTERTAINING GUESTS BY INSERTING THE WOODEN LEG OF A CHAIR INTO HIS RECTUM”

America’s chocolate game is WEAK. So weak.

I’ll probably get lost in the greys, but a few SNS’s ago I posted about having a crush on a cute guy with a beard who makes candles, and GUESS WHAT! I managed to slyly give him my phone number and we’ve been on a few dates! And it’s going well! I’m so excited!

Chad grew up and changed his mane to Martin Shkreli.