If you need someone to write about fantastic Reality Television programming like 90 day fiance, married at first sight, or my new fave - Rich in Faith, call me.

She is. Phoebe’s (Ruby’s ex-fiance) mother is Sophie’s mother’s sister, both daughters of Roald Dahl and Patricia Neal.

She did the holiday party RIGHT!

Who’s hobby is nannying?!

I’m not down with a Moody Bible Institute grad. I know it’s not Wheaton. But yeah. HARD PASS.

“the recent grad of Moody Bible Institute” is “serious about finding himself a woman,” but he’ll be keeping things PG until a special gal puts a ring on it. Renoe “says he’s still going to wait for his honeymoon to tear up his v-card.”

No, it’s usually a physical thing or a truck. Like, the actor orders the Kogi BBQ truck to come feed everyone on the last day, or it’s a jacket with the name of the show. If it’s clothes or a blanket, they tend to be pretty high quality. The best jackets I have are from productions and when I looked them up, they were…

Who would have thought you could trade down from Lord Disick?

So I have my big, once-in-a-lifetime (except I hope not) trip to Africa next Sunday and I feel so unprepared. I have my big, badass backpack (I’m legit in love); I have my passport (thank you, Chicago Passport Agency); I have my visa for my layover. I do NOT have an itinerary for Joburg nailed down, nor do I know what…

Oh my god jezzies, I humiliated myself. Behold my tale of woe:

Sikh and Islam are completely different religions which aren’t remotely related to each other. It’s like racists aren’t even trying to educate themselves anymore.

Ugh. I get you - I once turned down a Xmas threesome between this guy and either Drake or Josh from that Nickelodeon show Drake and Josh. I had no idea wtf Drake and Josh was and still don’t really (not a Nickelodeon fan and we were all early 20s at the time), but the story alone would. Have. Been. Fantastic.

When I came home for Christmas break after my first semester at college I ended up hanging out with a guy who I had met right before I left for school. We were flirty and our personalities meshed really well, but we were both awkward as fuck. I really wanted to hook up with him (assuming the feeling was mutual) but I…

In college my roommate and I decided to throw a generalized “winter” party. We cut out paper snowflakes, put Christmas lights everywhere, holiday colored jello shots, etc. We had about 50 people in our tiny apartment, had an awesome party, cops came, people had to leave, yada yada yada...

By “Holiday” do you mean the Good Friday when I hooked up with super hot Alex? Or the Easter Sunday when I met him at the family brunch and learned he was my dad’s half-sister’s son?

Mine was a quasi-hookup, but bear with me. These dudes who lived together in a house while attending college were close-knit so they had a “post-Christmas” in February, in one of the dudes’ ranch in the countryside. I was invited by my BFF, one of the dudes’ girlfriends, and I was newly single, so I went. There was…

Ewww. NO!

Ansel Elgort, that is not a good story.

I like going to the movies by myself. It can be fun because there is no haggling over show times and you get to go when you want.

Will she finally reveal the personal tunnel system she had built under Chicago so she never had to be near the common people or get photographed by paparazzi that I am 100 percent convinced exists? If not, no thank you. I don’t need her tunnel lies but I do want to use that tunnel.