I’ve been to three funerals in my life, but my great grandmother’s funeral when I was seventeen has to be the weirdest/most uncomfortable one of them all.

After being dead for 18 years, my father in law still has a stalker.

So a week after I started this job, a guy who no longer worked at the publication I worked for died in a car accident. I never met him, and he was a copy editor so it wasn’t like I was familiar in any way with him through what he wrote.
But nevertheless, the EOC said everyone needed to go. So I went. And somehow the…

I am going to keep this one short and sweet.

Tom Arnold is definitely en route to your house, split-top sausage bun in hand, right now.

Can’t you miserable people be happy he’s making that kind of money?

Growing up I spent ALOT of time as a patient at CHOP (Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia) & they did a lot of incredible things for patients. When I was 16 the Eagles went to the super bowl so they had a raffle for signed Eagles merch, I won a D McNab signed football (gave it away to a kid who really wanted it. I’m…

Work will be unbearable if this suit goes nowhere, I’m in Chicagoland and if this ends up being dismissed this will be all I hear about re:Patrick Kane’s case. I will be inundated with this “evidence” that “bitches” are all “thirsty sluts” and “stupid whores” who just want money and attention. More than one person…

There’s something weird going on with Chicago sports teams. Are the Cubs gonna do it!?

Only near the very end.

Good.

“ The newly minted billionaire made $100 million last year from endorsements last year”

I was seventeen and a senior in high school. The way it worked at my school was that we had prom and then we were off for about a month before graduation. It was during this period that my friends and I decided to buy/try weed for the first time. I’m naturally high strung so the whole process was such a debacle that I…

THIS WAS FUCKING HILARIOUS AND HONESTLY PROBABLY TOP TEN ESSAYS I HAVE EVER READ ON THIS SITE I LEGIT CRIED LAUGHING

Her shoes! I don’t know how she did it but her shoes are just the absolute fucking best. Not too expensive, ridiculously comfortable, fashionable, consistent sizing, sturdy and well made. I don’t care what footwear demon she sold her sole to but it paid off.

Because his schemes are playing out on TV! GET OUT WHILE YOU CAN!!!

I prefer slicing it thinly and fanning it out, it makes me feel Fancy. Chopped is definitely wrong though.

But, often the problem is I don’t want 10 sandwiches; I want one, maybe two sandwiches. But, then I have the ingredients for 8 more sandwiches sitting around going to waste and making me feel guilty.

Wow. Sam Biddle sounds like a classist asshole. Chips don’t have to come in a bag. They could be made by the restaurant. I eat lunch at side down restaurants and a lot of them have house made chips as a side. That tartine doesn’t even look that great but not including a side is criminal.