!!! Who turns their house keys over to the airline?

Here is what happened to me: I travel all the time, and had my important docs in my carry on, which had been on literally dozens of international flights with me. The stewardess asks to help me stow the bag, and was pretty insistent on taking it. She takes it towards the front of the plane, and when we deplane in…

Jesse Pinkman’s wife is giving some serious Coachella shade. #yasss

The kid will be named Kanye West Jr.

Somehow the most horrifying thing here is that a 30 year old man told his mother to go to the store to get him a sandwich and a soda - AND SHE DID IT.

She sounds like she was seriously zonked out on something. I mean, it also sounds like the kids were sugar-seeking monsters, but damn, lady!

Shake it off

Much like Icarus, he flew too close to the glorious sun that is Taylor Swift, only to plunge back to earth.

The eyebrow height that KatieKaBoom mentioned is said to be a brow lift, based on how it changed the overall shape of her face and they stay up there, utterly fixed. Also, nose job. Her nose shape now reflects Kim and their mother’s work pretty much to a T when you compare them.

Lucky this happened now. When the season started, no one was able to evacuate at Wrigley.

I wonder if it was an 85 year old man if we’d refer to him as a great-grandpa, or just an 85 year old man?

Why does Miley have a coin purse attached to an outfit she’s wearing on stage....is she going to stop the show to run to a vending machine? Like hey I know you want to see me gyrate like a cat in heat but I need a sprite and some funyuns this instant! Doesn’t she have people to do that for her? Shouldn’t those items…

Rahm Emanuel (asshat mayor of Chicago) lost half a finger in high school because he cut almost through the finger on a meat slicer at Arbys. Instead of going to the hospital he wrapped it up and went to prom. He ended up with a bone infection and was hospitalized for days, even after the finger was amputated.

So, who wants lunch? My treat.

Ooh, bonus BCO! With teenagers maiming themselves with dangerous industrial machinary for minimum wage!

Somewhere, right now, Stan Bowman is staring at a sheet of paper with the trade summaries of Brendan Saad and Patrick Sharp while gripping a .357.

OH MY GOD! EVERYONE KNOWS THE BEST ASPARAGUS WATER IS HOMEMADE!

Can you please stop calling it Whole Check? Please? That’s a Jezebel only joke and it’s terrible. PEople call it Whole Paycheck. Not Whole Check. Whole Check doesn’t even make sense and it makes me wince everytime I see it on this website.