I would like to state that I don’t think it is okay to fuck the elephants, under any circumstances.

Meanwhile in Dallas, Lindy Ruff reads the article about how concerning it is that the Rangers’ starting goalie only has a .912 SV% and starts sobbing into his moustache.

If you’re pro-Henrik, does that mean you are Annti-Raanta or can you be both?

My best friend of 15 years is getting married next month. I’m the best man. His wife informed him that all members of the wedding party need to be clean shaven for the ceremony, no excuses.

Seeing McDavid act like this is unfortunate. He really should take a page out of another hockey superstar’s playbook, Sidney Crosby, and just cheap shot the guy and then hide behind the ref...

“Dammit Linda, I told you not to take him to Terry Tate’s Dog Obedience school. I better text the mailman a warning.”

Normally wanting to get out there and play for the Oilers would be a sure sign of a head injury so I can see where they’re coming from.

Can’t really blame all these Harvard guys for wanting to share and discuss their thoughts on the attractiveness of women using computer software. The last guy who did that successfully at Harvard is now worth over $55B.

“OMG! Young men and women are sexually evaluating each other based upon looks, style, sex appeal and physical attributes! Sound the alarms! We need to take this to the streets!”

When you see some hipster in a Che t-shirt remember this-

If you change should to can’t, then the statement says can’t never, which is a double-negative.

Have a Snickers

Yeah but like fuck the Patriots, amiright?

I’m Arturo.

See my vest!

>but Jost is saying that liberals should deemphasize equal rights for all people because it alienates rednecks.

I have a feeling that Jost would not characterize what he’s saying in that way. This piece would be a lot more effective if it accurately represented the viewpoint it’s arguing against.

No one cares about your fantasy football team.

Hey everyone, found the guy who was watching porn on his laptop three rows up on your last flight.

“We’re a liberal website, but remember, we will post a picture of your genitals* if you’re an athlete, even if it was intended to be private!”