What if I'm talking about my neighbors, Mr. and Mrs. Gay and their son Gaylord?

MY DAD IS IMPORTANT is in the lead, but IT WASN'T REALLY A THREAT I WAS JOKING is thundering up the rear. And now I'M GONNA GET YOU FIRED is making his move!

Sounds like a movie. America transfers all it's criminals onto a giant ship and during a huge storm the ship rides a wave and smashes into downtown Manhattan where the surviving prisoners are unleashed on the city.

"Horsepower is how fast you hit the guest's car in front of you and torque is how far you push it."

My name really is Thaddeus Stapleton, and I too have business ties to North Korea. Thanks for making it so that I'll never be able to visit the country again.

And remember, only the elite of the elite get to live in Pyongyang, so this is like visiting Brentwood or Greenwich, and those little jeeps are their Escalades and Mercs SUVs.

It was both a torture and a murder chamber. The rental description probably referred to it as a multi-use space.

Heh - I like this paragraph from the original:

Coming up next on HGTV: Dungeon Do-over!

A creepy little girl will stand at the foot of your bed and kill you at midnight unless you send this to six people and then all your wishes will come true. Provided that your wishes are to be murdered by a creepy little girl at midnight.

Dang, Hotel Rwanda too? I feel Cheadled.

I would buy the $35,000,000 MJ card, but the $4.49 shipping puts it out of my budget.

Everyone is blowing this is off as some weird fetish-y thing and missing Mark's larger point: this is becoming normal. Let me repeat that again: hardcore, extreme and often dangerous sexual acts, overwhelmingly involving women, are becoming more and more normalized. Things that should be seasoned fetishes and…

Bill Murray has got to be so fucking sick of being the coolest guy in any given room by now.

Hey Linda, I'm tryna quit my day job and make bank...How do I sign up? Also will more commas make me more succesful in my future? It seems to be working for you