I'm pretty sure a stale Twizzler could rob Bieber of his masculinity.

Jaguar-sleek and smart. For men who would like handjobs from beautiful women they hardly know!

I'm a guy, but I think everyone has a different standard based on whatever their mother told them. My mother said that sheets have to be washed once a week or I become something unclean that is not fit to be viewed by other humans. So even as a single guy I would wash sheets once a week. And when they were washing…

True story: when I was 17 my new gf had a leopard print bedspread. When we were sitting on it I noticed a spot about 2" in diameter where the pile was mashed down from gunk. I asked what happened (yeah, I was dumb back then. I'm old, there was no available porn) and she just blushed and shyly looked away. A few…

Technically, they are famous because Kim went to Poundtown, not for losing pounds.

Aaahh...so that explains why Farrah Fawcett died of colo-rectal cancer. She was always fucking that asshole, Ryan O'Neal. *rim shot*

It's like if Joey Ramone starred in Holiday On Ice.

Are you from there? I mean, how did your Mom come to put ice cream on bread?

Wow. Threatening dildos are really trending at Gawker Media today. Fascinating!

And half of the restaurants in Shanghai are using fryer oil that has been "recycled" by scraping it off the top of the water in sewers.

I saw everyone eating ice cream dogs in the Philippines. Now it all makes delicious sense!

I think repetition is the opiate of childhood. Btw, I consider you the Grande Dame of the best old school Gawker commenters (many of whom only appear sporadically since Kinja, sadly.)

Yup. But I'm a Dad (I did all the bedtime reading for four kids).

I don't know

Radar is reporting that Michelle Knight told them a fourth woman was there with her and then one morning the woman had disappeared and her name plus "R.I.P." were written on the basement wall. Also, at least five babies were born or miscarried there and there's disturbed dirt in the back yard.

Wow...smarmy, racist AND a mean drunk. Why am I not surprised. A trifecta of terrific traits. Thanks for the link.

True story: my buddy was in management at the George V hotel in Paris when he was dating Jessica Simpson. After a week long stay, they had to throw out a $3000 mattress because of all the...umm..."Santorum" left on it. He said that had never happened before.

If I was a woman, I would not want to be on all fours, look back over my shoulder and see THAT staring back at me.

Wow. Just wow. And good on you being so small and still fighting back. As a man, I have to believe this would happen less frequently if A. men were raised to properly respect women and B. there were real consequences much more often. You dealt him one hell of a consequence, fully deserved. Thanks for the great…

I find that more repugnant, considering the size of the problem, than even the fact that this guy is an offender. I bet they have more people in Air Force command deciding which snacks go in MRE packs.