Would Avenatti have malpractice insurance that would pay out to the disabled guy? I have no idea how lawyers’ malpractice insurance works.

This was all very informative, but wouldn’t it have been more digestible in an audio format? Perhaps in some sort of file downloadable to mobile devices, and given a punny, football-coach-based name?

Classic self burn.

I guess all of the Hate mail to Megan for her horrible food takes got caught in the Spam folder.

Finally someone brave enough to take on Big Nerd 

FINALLY a good take on Splinter

And there was also that time that they blew a 3-1 lead in the NBA finals. 

That’s my fucking son you’re talking about, bud.

6/ Must produce quality tweets like this:

Osorio was right. Neymar has proved a terrible example for the children.

Maybe someone could check his Collar ID.

See, I’m not a huge fan of the old Dougram designs. Great show, I just don’t think the way they did the linework on those was very flattering for Battletech (though they were hardly the only ones.) I kinda like the new Battlemaster and Wolverine, but I can understand why you might not, especially for the battlemaster…

Now that the Red Sox and both Chicago teams have won Series’ recently we really need a fun name for Cleveland’s struggles that’ll bring back some of that fun Billy Goat-Bambino stuff that Baseball’s so good at.

this is a first amendment violation and i WILL have you fired

i will destroy splinter news if it’s the last thing i do

Sir, I may not agree with the precise aesthetic in which you couched your expression of the same opinions I broadly hold, but I will defend to the death your right to be paid mid-six figures to say it without ever facing the approbation of college students

would love to get the splinter news slack transcripts, please contact me ashley.feinberg@huffpost.com

Hamno?