(Nothing against debate club friends. But I think you know what I mean.)

In Bertolucci’s the Dreamers the brother and sister have a menage a trois with a good-looking friend. Is this what you are insinuating, Lorde? You don’t have to say anything. Just scowl if I’m right.

Yeah but what about chemtrails AM I RITE

Mel Gibson is a really bad example because his career actually was pretty well tanked after his meltdown. Since then I can only think of four movies he’s been in, and one of them was straight to streaming.

thats because no matter how thin you are, you always want to look thinner and probably think that your upper arms are fat.

“...his genitals came flying out of his shorts while trying to beat five seconds.”

A friend of mine, while attending a college halloween party, dressed up as JonBenet Ramsy......turns out that the real life JonBenet’s brother went to the same college and turned up at the same party. Party havers kicked my friend out of the party once he showed up. I made that same face when she told me that story.

I know. I’m such an ableist.

He just really liked shades and moving his head back and forth. It is your fault if you made an assumption.

Last summer I paid about $500 more to fly to Europe on BA rather than Air China or Aeroflot because I figured it would be a much better experience (and also I’m an travel snob). Instead, both BA flights were old 747s with terrible seatback entertainment systems and terrible seats with lumpy padding. One flight was…

You know, I know that statistically diets don’t work, but my boyfriend lost 80 pounds on WW years before I met him and has kept it off, and his brother (who was also 300+ lbs I think) turned into an ultramarathon runner after losing a ton of weight on WW.

She bragged the other day about knowing more than I think she knows about sex. And I was like oh yeah? And she said yeah I know everything. I ride a bus, mom. So I asked her about anal beads.

Is the guy Lea Michele just broke up with the one who was an actual escort? Or was that a few boyfriends ago?

Seriously. If that were the case, every male student in my classes would be forcing daily pickup games when spring starts.

I mean, just get a tumblr. No one will care if you share your twat there. Im sure the outrage is what fuels them. I give them 10 minutes with out the attention before they shrivel up like a necrotic testicle.

Referring to women as “females” definitely helps your credibility here...

They are 100% going to murder you in your sleep. There is already a forged copy of your will leaving your farm to the turkeys.

I’m a Catholic and I cannot understand how such a thing as a Catholic (or any other organization) hospital can even exist. It’s WRONG. Hospitals should be public and state-controlled and as equal as possible across the whole country :/ Otherwise where do you go if you’re anything but a Catholic that also happens to…

My mother (a Catholic lady) had my brother at a Jewish hospital for this reason. It was 1988 in Missouri. Someone told her that Jewish Hospital saved the mother, whereas the other one pulled crap like this.

rip to the days when we could just bury the women and their dead babies in the well behind the convent without anyone knowing about it