Not recorded in the body cam footage were the words to his partner as he jumped back in the cruiser.

“Hello police? There is a man aligning his chakram in his car which is making me nervous.”
“Is he using the Bikram method?”
“No he seems to be using the modified Sivananda - which is SO wrong.”
“We’ll be right there!”

She beat an elderly man with a brick for no reason...I’ll take immigrants over homegrown assholes any day.

He’s going to play in San Francisco, now it’s Bougie. 

I remember when Michael Sam kissing a man was a distraction. 

“Barstool Radio, a show enjoyed exclusively by Deloitte interns who wish they were still in college”

And yet the NFL is OK with obscenities like “GABBERT” and “OSWEILER”

This is chief among the reasons why I refuse to run.

Getting hit in the face with a hot dog is the wurst.

Let’s at least grant Brazil this: the Swiss are born and raised to achieve a neutral result.

My best friend and I dressed up as Burt and Ernie for halloween about 8 years ago. Went out and got pretty hammered at the bars, and then I see down the street, Cookie Monster, just standing there. Well I thought it was a good idea to jump on his back, we both fell to the ground, and that’s when I feel a shot to the…

In reverse order, every coach that has actually beaten LeBron in a playoff series:

NHL Tells Prick With Stick To Quit The Lick Tricks.

Even if he can’t play his history of traveling around the world, drinking and raping, should serve him well is he decides to become an actual pirate.

Well, I generally come into the game at least fifteen minutes late, ah, I use the side door - that way Lebron can’t see me, heh - after that I sorta space out for an hour. Yeah, I just stare at the basket, but it looks like I’m thinking about taking a good shot. I do that for probably another hour after halftime, I’d…

To the other 11 Cavs:

“Terez Owens could play a little himself back in the day.”

The Secret World of Allison Mack sure is a trip.