"[A]s a rule we don't participate in advertising campaigns." Said the writer on a web page covered with advertising campaigns.

My other favorites are airplane related:
1) For my 30th birthday my now-wife and I went to New Orleans for a drunken, food filled weekend. The night before we left we went to one of John Besh's restaurants, which was pretty okay, and she slurped down a tray of raw oysters (I don't fuck with those things). Everything…

Was there an incident when marathon trolls yelled "ALMOST THERE" after the second mile?

The power of rice compels you!

Except that the "Midwest" is more or less synonymous with "Great Lake States," sure.

No actual fighting? Alt headline-

November baseball in Chicago will be an improvement over April baseball?

Fuckface.

I'm not sure if it's great or not that when I think Pardo, his SNL announcing comes second in my head. First place is "You don't even get a lousy copy of our home game! You're a complete looooser!"

For that suggestion, she gets to drink FROM THE FIRE HOSE!!!!

The advertisement on this page is for Reebok running shoes. Not sure if that is brilliant or unfortunate product placement.

I am so profoundly excited that these columns are back. Wonderful to be consuming some fresh haterade as the summer moves back to fall.

Is that the red or the white?

Donatas appreciate humor value of broken English!

From the description, almost sounds like Balance of Power (Yep, I'm that old). I could never win that game. For some reason I always wound up in a nuclear war. Probably because I would never back down.

in retrospect, this show did suck. but Magary, if you go after Parker Lewis Can't Lose, I will hunt you down like the dog you are and gut you from crotch to sternum like a rainbow trout and tan your hide and nail it to the shed like an old mule.

Didn't we have enough stories about Pacers anonymously dropping out during the NBA playoffs?

[simultaneously mouths "plus one!" and signs "HOSPITAL! UNDERPANTS!" into palm]