Can’t get fired if you never get paid in the first place.

Bari’s understanding of Australia is even below the level of something that might appear in the Travel section. It’s 36 hours in Australia for someone who would eat at the Times Square Olive Garden when visiting New York City.

This explains why the Vikings can’t win in the playoffs. A common motivating tactic among coaches, especially when one feels overmatched, is to remind their players that their opponent put on their pants the exact same way they do. Sadly for the Vikings, they know from the beginning that this isn’t true and the game…

Neymar should heed the lyrics from the famous Eminem song: “There’s no movie, there’s no Omar Epps, this is my life.”

To be fair, he found their ad on Monster.com.

Who can forget Cody Pickett’s Charge, the Battle of Kam Chancellorsville, or the Michael Vicksburg Campaign?

Turkish assassins also expressed relief that they wouldn’t have to sit through a Knicks-Wizards game. 

Hue Jackson has a good shot of picking up in Cincinnati where he left off.

I mean, we have literal evidence that Snyder can’t see the forest for the trees. 

The best part of this clip is Robert Foster (Bills #16) completely ignoring the brawl and picking up the ball to run it into the end zone. Then slowly walking back into frame as the brawl continues. 

Who would have thought that the First Responder Bowl would be the best game of the day? 

The premiere of NBC’s Non-American Ninja Warrior is going to be lit. 

I mean, Steve’s a great assistant, and even a passable fill-in. But this season has shown that it’s a stretch to think he could run his own show. Anyway, who is the fuck is Steve Wilks?

He’s no Tim Salmon, that’s for sure. 

I mean, of course. Gibbs wore a hat with the freakin’ Rainier Beer logo on the damn sidelines.

Man, I was really hopeful when he got traded that he’d be able to sort out his life. The Patriots organization is usually the best at providing the proper structure and support to help players violate league rules without getting caught.  

For what it’s worth, NPB already has a similar deal with the Cuban Baseball Federation to sign Cuban professionals. In fact, one of the first to go this route was, now Astro (and noted racist eye gesturer), Yuli Gurriel who played professionally for one year in Japan before defecting for MLB.

Good to hear it. Are we sure Drew and Nathan Peterman are separate people?

Between this helmet’s connection to Tebow and all of the self-dealing/financial crimes, I congratulate the Wilpons on winning the auction. 

Remember when the glowing NY Times piece about Piazza’s ownership quoted him shitting all over Italian food in St. Louis and then having to do a public mea culpa with Nelly. Now he’s shitting all over Pittsburgh. Can’t wait to see what awful Yinzer they dig up to have dinner with Mike and his wife this time.