Pitbull has better range.

Spending thousands of dollars on season tickets to a moribund franchise just so you can tell off Derek Jeter. Cue the DJ Khaled gif.

Who would have thought five years ago that Brandon Morrow would be making $10 million a year as a coveted free agent pitcher and Lincecum would be pitching for whatever scouts bother to show up for his showcase in Renton?

The irony is that no media member will be happier than Herbstreit himself that NCAA rules are being properly applied.

Good thing dad took a picture. Based off his jersey, he probably won’t remember this moment in a few years.

Back to football as it was before that pussy Teddy Roosevelt ruined it with his government regulations.

Talk about a shot to the kidneys.

Such lazy journalism. Open up the TB12 Nutrition Manual and you’ll quickly learn that Guerrero doesn’t have beef with anyone. Brady is vegan most of the year, and when he’s not, he’s notorious for only eating lean meat. C’mon, man. Do some research before you publish a blog.

The darkest timeline is that, in the very tiny speckle of time in the entirety of the history of human civilization, aliens make contact with humans, we have an unqualified baby as the leader of the most powerful country in the world.

Or, perhaps they’ve been here all along and know that now is the best time to…

The definition of a catch is like the definition of pornography: it only counts if James Brown is tweeting it out late at night.

The top reply to any social media post by Don Jr. should simply be “Daddy will never love you.”

Richardson was also known for what multiple women call the “seatbelt maneuver.”

But can he do it on a cold, rainy night in Columbus Austin?

The new XFL will not actually feature football. Players in football uniforms will merely stand for three hours while the national anthem and Lee Greenwood’s God Bless the USA alternate playing on the PA system.

I’m pretty sure all of these harassers would also tell you they believe in fairness and equality. Perhaps while sexually harassing you or taking you to a strip club during a job interview.

That college rule where you get ejected for headhunting? That’s coming. It’s a lock. And honestly, I don’t think the NFL gives half a shit if that rule is unfair to defensive players.

Russell Wilson is only 5'11". Everyone knows that’s not tall enough to play QB in the NFL.

No, dude. Patrick Swayze only did pot, and not even the drug kind.

“Gored hawks, eh? That’s a hashtag I can get behind, even if I’m not changing the racist name.” - Dan Snyder, somewhere.

Where is that Cleveland Browns letter when you need it?