Thanks, dad.

/slams bedroom door

Maybe he was Born in the USA: “Got in a little hometown jam, so they put a rifle in my hand. Sent me off to a foreign land, to go and kill the yellow man.”

Make up your damn minds people. I can only cancel/uncancel this Papa John’s order so many times.

Hopefully you convert them to wingdings first. Brady is only interested in codes.

I look forward to seeing an ESPN personality suspended for pointing out that the Holocaust happened.

This new policy is directly contradicted by the continued employment of Jim Brady as public editor.

Can’t blame the refs, no wants to deal with angry highlight truthers.

Damn, Ricketts pulled the plug on this shit too, eh?

Did you hear that? All the Phillies are going to be masturbating with coconut oil next season.

But then how would the ref’s liberal wives know to be proud of them for calling a targeting penalty?

Players like our spokesman and franchisee Peyton Manning embody the attitude that our company was founded on and which remains at the core of what we do every day and with every pizza we make.

Given the recent spate of “avoidable” collisions in the Pacific Fleet, I’d say they’re well on their way.

Today in America, George Costanza’s line of “It’s not a lie, if you believe it” has somehow become “It’s not a lie, if they believe it.”

No dude. Even in places where it was once popular, dog meat is now considered taboo, and sometimes even illegal.

If you think this is bad, Barry, you should get a load of what his tight end was doing.

Mike Leach is a genius. Dude invented the concussion shed that is now on the sideline of all NFL games.

Trust the Process.

Eh, I still visit Ebron’s World sometimes to watch that grape stomping video.

“You’re not allowed to rerank the theses. You know, 500 years later, it’s inconceivable to me that you would take what we think now and apply it back then. I just think it’s very, very dangerous, and it shows how much of a lack of appreciation of history and what history is.” - John Kelly