That's why I'm more excited to see the results. Lode Runner has gold, shovels, bricks and ladders as well as a character. That's some Raiders of the Lost Ark shit compared to falling L and J shaped blocks. And Dig Dug may as well be The Rape Of The Lock or Metamorphoses compared to Tetris.

Wake me up when the Dig Dug miniseries and Lode Runner operetta are finished.

Yeah, it's some Brady Bunch shit. Peter and Jan weren't blood, but it doesn't mean it wouldn't be disgusting if they got it on.

Every time somebody showed up while she was cooking she distracted them with her sexy disguise and added them to the pie. It all checks out.

But why were the planes running on wildfire instead of normal jet fuel?

Tastes of chicken.

I had no idea there was still a Rax in Lancaster, Ohio, and that's only 35 miles away from me. There was one in Athens for a while but it went under roughly a decade ago. I haven't eaten at one in probably 20 years, and I can't really remember if I liked it or not, I just remember they had a horrifying "Super Bar"…

Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale,
A tale of an egotist,
Who's married to a vapid bore
That somehow made A-list…

Yeah, it is. I really screwed the pooch on my wording. I think I meant that it was inexplicably a hit despite the violence inherent in the title but it reads like I think it's a shitty song. My lame excuse is that I had been awake less than fifteen minutes, was nursing one hell of a hangover, had zero coffees, and…

Then again, Smack my Bitch Up was an inexplicable semi-hit.

Ooof. I was just listening to The Stanley Brothers last weekend. RIP to another true legend. At this point, I hope Willie Nelson, Mel Brooks and Aretha Franklin are hiding in bunkers.

"They all float down here."
-oops, wrong SK novel

Yes, but not on the nose.

Doesn't anything just stay dead anymore? I'm investing in some wooden stakes.

One of my two dogs was a stray. I actually hit her with my car when she ran out in the highway late one night a little over a year ago. She was only 6-8 weeks old at the time. Luckily the road was winding so I was driving slow and I was able to brake somewhat, but she still had each side of her pelvis smashed and…

Does it have to use a different bathroom than the other stingrays?

I would have stolen all the turtles, taken them home, and returned to the party with vengeance on my mind. The hosts would be in the hospital and I would be typing this comment from prison.

But we gotta think franchise, what's the sequel? Do you trim your nose hair? How about body grooming? What's gonna bring the yokels back to the theaters? Do you trim your own bangs? What about sideburns?

And he wouldn't have to rein in the racial slurs.

Gavin, don't you already have this game?
No, Mom, you idiot! I have "Bloodstorm", and "Bone Squad", and "Bloodstorm II", stupid.