I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm in kind of the same boat. I'm on social security because I've had some kinda serious & chronic health problems since I was 4. Last march I didn't get paid & I went to the social security office to see what's up. My father was overpaid 30k, didn't report it, spent it. All gone. Since I was…

Stop it. Set boundaries. You do NOT have to accept it because you are the oldest, most settled, or any other bullshit. When he turns up, tell him firmly he cant't stay, you are sorry. Then stick to it.

I've only gotten sarcastic apologies. "Sorry for everything that I've ever said to you."

Ah, sweet Boomers. They went from "Trust no one over 30" to having the AARP scream "Ageism!" in almost every situation.

I think a lot of this is that people who are close with their family don't understand the concept of not being close with your family. My parents weren't abusive, and I don't actively dislike them or anything, but...I just don't want to be around them. Like, almost ever. I have one or two things in common with my…

Agree completely. It's unbelievably rich to hear Boomers accuse other generations of narcissism considering they're the most narcissistic generation America has yet produced. Millennials have NOTHING on Boomers. These are the people who broke the country, tried to hand it to us, and when we went "uh, hey, this…

The fact that I have very little contact with my mother has nothing to do with punishing her for the shitty things she did in the past and everything to do with protecting myself from the shitty things she might do in the future

our mom's must've been twins! My borderline personality emotionally abusive mother doesn't understand Why I sued her for custody of my teenage brother after she pulled him downstairs by his hair to show him the mess he made. Some people should not have children. My siblings and I turned out alright, but That's because…

Hi, are we siblings? Your mom sounds just like mine! It's so exhausting. Mine also has temper tantrums, and when she gets upset about something ridiculous (usually when I'm visiting, derailing everything), I now just ignore her as best I can, instead of trying to reason with her or placate her. It's actually very…

Ugh. My mom would write this as well. We talk 2 or 3 times a month, but in her mind, she thinks I should come home more. I live in DC, she lives in Pittsburgh. I come home for all major holidays. Sorry I'm an adult with a job. Maybe try visiting (which I've offered) as you are a retiree with oodles of free time.

I told my mother flat out to keep her mouth shut about my childhood. My parents are great parents to an adult child, but to a child-child? Never did a more abusive pair of fuckups walk this earth. Under no circumstances will I tell that woman that she was a good mother, and I told her that a part of me will hate her…

I think I have always been wary of referring to her behaviour as gaslighting just because I'm never entirely sure how much she believes her own narrative. When she tells me that incident X didn't happen, I'm never sure whether she is trying to manipulate me or if she sincerely believes in her heart of hearts that it…

I asked for an apology for my and my sister's abuse too. She denied she ever did anything besides spank me twice which sent flames shooting out of my eyes. What's funny is that she LOVES to trot out all the abuse from her own parents and first husband. she is only the victim, never the perpetrator.

Agree! My mom is definitely a "you and your sibling are my wooooorld!!!" type of parent and like to ask just how much we're going to take care of her in her old age. This is particularly stressful to me since my mother and I have very different personalities and while I love her, I cannot stand to be around her very…

Literally my whole life was feeling responsible for my parent's feelings. It's horrible and it's only in the past year that I've been able to actually disengage from it, but it's guilt like no other.

Or my personal favorite:

I believe the term is "emotional incest" and it's just as gross and terrible as it sounds.

"A common story among parents who have estranged adult children is how much they had focused on their children, how much they did to make sure their children had all the best advantages, made them the center of the family universe — and often how they treated them more like an equal or an adult than a child.
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Good for you! You made the choice to protect your wife and child. My father never did this because he's a coward and he decided to just continue the abusive behaviour that he endured from his parents. At a certain point, everyone is an adult who makes their life choices and who has to deal with the consequences of…

I've cut my father out of my life.