I love that you dropped a Zizek reference apropos of nothing.

cultural capital.

Got it. Just curious. I watched some version of it online circa 2008 and there was no peeing. I have no idea if that was edited out of what. Also, ew. :/

Really? Was that in the sex tape, or is that some other gossip?

Ugh. Did you kick this guest out?

Whether someone should give you $1,000 is something to be worked out between you and that hypothetical person. This transaction would have everything to do with your specific situations and what both of you individually comfortable with, and nothing to do with any moral absolutism.

I will never forgive Gawker for that.

My sense from the reading I have done over the last few days is that gender plays a big part in these toxic dynamics: if the household contains mixed-gender siblings, 95% of the time one of the girls will be the scapegoat and a boy will be the golden child. I took some solace in this, and it actually makes sense in my…

Ugh, the pissing contest thing. I can totally relate. Every time I accomplish anything, she must either surpass me at it or minimize/dismiss it. When I got fit (I'm "supposed" to be a fat slob and thus inferior to her and my brother in this regard) and started running 1/2 marathons, she unsuccessfully took up running.…

Same deal with mine. Must be a pretty common pathology. Whenever we visit she produces some drama or issue that my husband and I are supposed to get involved in by managing, placating, or soothing her feelings in some way.

Yeah, there are intimations of this dynamic with my mom. When she's not minimizing or undermining me or generally trying to make me feel worthless, it's this weird, overly emotional no-boundaries routine where she tells me I'm the center of her universe (LOL) and expects me to cuddle her and do her emotional labor.

Agree. This was the game changer for me. Really, it was when my brother, her favorite, started a family. I could see the schema developing whereby she was working to instill an inferiority complex in my son vis-a-vis his cousin. No bueno.

Hugs. My mentally ill, abusive dad (and mom, to a lesser extent) used to scream at and berate me all the time for saying/doing things wrong. I was terrified of conflict until my early 30s, and would do ANYTHING to avoid it. Yet, I was never taught any actual values, principles, or life lessons that would have given me…

This is pretty much my mom to a tee. Except now, in her narrative, SHE was the sole victim, and I'm supposed to do her emotional labor. Sigh.

Ouch. My mentally ill, abusive father used to fuck with my livelihood to weaken and control me. Got me fired from a job and into a tough spot in graduate school. Hugs to you!

I'm in the process of struggling to figure out how to handle the relationship my mom. I'm really conflicted. Growing up, my father (now deceased) was abusive to me in various ways, and she took his side at the end of the day. Still does, and has totally rewritten history to make him thins great guy who loved his…

It's not an anti-sex thing, but I can see how elementary/middle schoolers would have a field day with this in a way that they wouldn't with the poop blogging. But, you are probably right that communication with the kids is the key.

Eh, I agree with you. It seems gimmicky and desperately provocative in way that reflects our Internet micro-celebrity obsessed culture while trying to capitalize on some vague sense of sex-positivity and third wave empowerment. And regardless of whether it's ethically right, you are correct that her kids will…

This is where I'm at as well. Most/all of my intercourse and oral partners have been basically fine. Makeouts/half-hearted groping sessions? There was the fratbro/wanna be musician, the quasi-white supremacist with a bugs bunny collection, the guy who both bred ferrets and lived in his mom's basement, the 30 ish (I…

One of my uncles and his wife are crazy hardcore dog people, and they have professional portraits taken of them and the dogs, and sometimes just the dogs, on a regular basis. Not sure if this is within the spectrum of normal, but I have definitely witnessed it among serious dog lovers.