Oh god, no. Thousand Island on a pizza. Gag, gag, gag.

Perfect time to pull this out:

After being married for almost 20 years to a guy who didn't read books and thought reading fiction was a "waste of time" (but you couldn't tear him away from the TV!!)....I refuse to settle for a guy who doesn't read for enjoyment on a regular basis....preferably one who has similar taste in books to mine...when my…

I work with someone who is almost like that— not quite as bad, but she's a director, which is fairly high level and should involve basic reading and writing skills. Because I hate her (she is awful), I didn't mention to her that her draft email misspelled "miss-understanding" at least four times in two paragraphs. I…

Yeah, since when is there an expiration date on reading classics? Everyone has huge gaps in their knowledge. I didn't read To Kill a Mockingbird or The Metamorphosis until well after high school. I majored in English and I still haven't read Moby Dick, Madame Bovary, Richard III, and like a million more things that…

Brb searching for a change of panties after staring at the bathtub pic

OH MY GOD I wouldn't be able to restrain myself from jumping a guy's bones if he did that, no sarcasm. I stayed with my last boyfriend for a couple of months too long just because he was the first reader I dated in a long time.

I bet your bookcase is simply huge.

It is super sad, but also absolutely astonishing to me, as an avid reader and advanced writer. Either there are a lot of undiagnosed learning disorders (possible) or schooling just failing astonishingly.

Yeah, that would work on me. Depending on the books, of course.

Hey wait a minute, my mom has tile like that in her bathroom... And that's not my dad!

I've had two coworkers like that. Native English speakers who could barely read and write and misspelled basic, BASIC words. ("Head," for example.) I'm only an armchair psychiatrist but I think both of them were in situations where they had undiagnosed learning disabilities and the school system failed them. It's…

This is my airplane boarding habit. "In case of Lost-esque situation, what am I working with?"

The only part that doesn't make sense is that you stopped when you got married.

There may be a ring on your finger but the human race is still counting on you and your subway procreation, my friend.

I legitimately love going through people's bookcases. I find it fascinating.

Starting the "Average-Looking Guys Doing Mad-Libs at Pizza Hut" account now.

I feel this is worth bringing up again.

Truthfully, in the last year of my life I've run into an astounding number of people who are functionally illiterate. Not in a 'oh, they just don't read' but in a 'oh my god, you really can't read the words on the page and someone has to help you with it and you're over the age of 12'. It is both sad that the world…

This is everything I used to do on the subway before I got married. I would play this game in my head and think of a scenario of if the subway broke down right there and the world ended and I had to procreate with two dudes (yes, I would have a number 1 dude and number 2) who would it be? I don't even know if this…