He was right. It’s terrible manners to walk in on them before they’ve finished up. (Unless they they were taking forever, obvs.)

Please, PLEASE don’t judge us by our TV!

It was still sold here when I was a teen. You aren’t missing anything; it just tastes like shitty cheap beer.

Hey! I’m a Melbourne boy, & I generally find the service here is mostly pretty good, albeit not in an obsequious way, as it is in some countries.

“Sounds right up Shane Warne’s alley.”

Or whisky?

Tim Minchin is married, & I have no idea what John Safran’s deal is, but I can’t imagine him doing that either. Basically, neither of them are really that kind of Aussie.

Correct. The standard sides are chips or vegetables. And for the love of all that is good & true in the world, please don’t assume that Outback Steakhouse is in any way authentic.

From now through to about April is the ideal time of year for outdoor sex in Oz.

I haven’t done that exact thing, but I’ve done a few things like it, including fucking in public in a wildlife park, & another time fucking in an abandoned railway cutting that turned out - halfway through - to be the favourite parking spot for the sports bar across the street.

Australians do not drinks Fosters!

“Right. Well, I can fix this, no problem.”

No, you’re just appealing to mindless nationalism, which isn’t any prettier from an American than it is from a Russian or a Chinese person.

“He’s not an alien. He’s from Pittsburgh.”

“Solarian is more accurate.”

But I didn’t have the salmon mousse!

This seems 100% legit, & not in any way fabricated.

$135M? That makes me feel a lot better about my personal record for a similar error, which is only about $3.5K.

Bonus points for the Buckaroo Banzai handle. ;)

I’m not freaking out, just disappointed that he gets no love from Gawker et al.