Extra meta points for using a Joss property to respond to a comment referencing a Joss property.

I bet she rolls the most perfect joints.

Jada Pinkett-Smith says she is not Will Smith’s “watcher.”

Yeah, even public schools ban PB, and a few even say you can’t give your kids peanut butter for breakfast before school. I look around at the store a lot, since money is really tight right now, and found that alternate spreads cost three times as much and you get 1/2 to 2/3 as much spread.

COMMIE BASTARD OPINION ALERT:

I really don’t want to be that person, but Aurora is not Denver and Aurora is cheaper than Denver. Also Aurora is literally the craziest suburb of Denver, so Denverites would probably be offended about being lumped in with Aurorians.
(And yeah I know you said suburban Denver but... nooooo go away Aurora, stop trying to…

I would bet that she got high with him during their hysterical cooking segments. (Martha and Snoop cooking together is the BEST!)

I have no doubt Martha gets high, and probably got high with Snoop (as she CLEARLY has before.) I don’t believe for a minute she doesn’t know how to toke and someone had to shotgun her. If it happened like that, it was probably just for shits and giggles. (I’ve spent too much time thinking about this, obv.)

There’s no way Martha isn’t growing some organic, heirloom super-weed on her farm somewhere. Probably behind the blueberry pergola.

And, as promised, Ellie Goulding’s little brother was returned, alive and well.

That settles it, if I go nowhere else again in my life, I at least have to visit Bali. Oh my heavens what a beautiful place.

I want to hang out with Gabourey. She seems fucking awesome always.

Yes, I love that he may not know what it’s called, but he knows that he does not want her in some Pnina Torne garbage.

I see your shrimp hanging from the ceiling and I raise you...

“But I want Dave. I want option A.” aaaand there goes my composure. This is terribly sad. Glad to know he was so loved, but there is little else that’s good in this.

I will remember to use “how are you today?” after reading this.

You guys seem fucking awesome. BOOSTIYAY.

Can we get a “heyoo” for HOW FUCKING TRUE-TO-LIFE HARD THIS IS?! I feel like I’ve spent my entire life thinking about and planning my wedding because I was a bored 90s girl, and my partner never even thought about the logistics until his sister got married recently. WOULD I WERE SO LUCKY. I’ve been taking subtle notes…