I'm a bit of a Mallory and a Claudia combined. With a little Stacy.

Curveball: What about Elizabeth Wakefield? Sweet Valley is a total anti-vaxxer town and Elizabeth is the anti-vaxxest of them all.

Claudia is the best one. I don't know how anyone could disagree. Dawn sucks. I don't get the Mallory hate that seems so common though.

You know, this is exactly the kind of shit that made Dawn my least favorite of the Babysitters. Not cool at all like fashionable junk-food addict artist Claudia.

Cathy Dollanganger: total anti-vaxxer.

And on top of that, the real Christian Greys of the world will NOT suddenly become wonderful men by the power of your love and general awesomeness. I have tried going down that road a couple of times and, well, it turns out that I don't have magic powers to "fix" people. Whoda thunk?

No. The narrator repeatedly mentions how sexy it is that "his pants hang off his hips in that way." Like, that's a direct quote, and a good example of how shitty the writing is. How the fuck else do pants normally hang, E. L. James? Off a dick? Off your knees? Nipples?

he's also 27. TWENTY SEVEN. That's utter bullshit. Twenty seven year olds are glorified 21 year olds.

Quality Tumblr post:

Furthermore, let us all be thankful that Christian Grey is not real, because the fictional Christian Grey is a creepy, abusive stalker who gaslighted and raped his girlfriend, and we already have enough terrible dudes like that in the world.

I want Christian Grey to be real so that I can throw him into a volcano. You can throw a book into a volcano but it isn't the same.

I have some serious, snooty side-eye for anyone who wants Christian Grey to be real, and I'm not sorry.

One way to opt out is buy their own goddamn gowns. Loaner dresses are why they're obligated to provide free advertising to the designer by answering questions about who they're wearing.

I wish that Jennifer Aniston would tell them she gave birth to a dozen babies in the limo.

My general rule for life: Don't mess with your eyeballs. You only get the one pair.

We all know how this ends...

Yup, just like Christians, "smart people" and "nice guys". If you have to consistently tell people you are, you aren't.

Yeah - it's the calling themselves feminists that is the big red flag to me. I know plenty of men who are essentially feminist - some who would call themselves so if you asked - but none of them have an obsession with showing women how feminist they are. That's a red flag. I wish it wasn't but it is, based on my…

This is also my experience. I know many good men who might not read bell hooks, but who practice active consent, respect boundaries, and listen more than they speak when women are discussing their experiences. The guy that walks in yelling about his reading list and his personal practices is the guy that I do not…