I know! It's like...somehow an unfuckable woman did something important. Weird.

Grizzled, and certainly growing that Kelly beard to cover up his plain features, Leo Tolstoy nevertheless knew how to hold a pen and use it.

You mean even women who are very accomplished are judged more on their looks than on their accomplishments?

I do PiYo at home. Every downward dog is an invitation for my cat to walk back and forth under me, rubbing against my arms. Once I start to get sweaty, my dogs wait for me to be helpless in a plank so they can lick my legs with abandon. I fear I am losing the exercise battle to my pets.

Exactly! She acts like plopping down on my face is call for a massive reward. "HEY LADY REMEMBER WHEN YOU TEACHED ME TO LIE DOWN? I DID OK WHY ARE YOU COMPLAINING? AND WHERE IS MY GODDAMN COOKIE? NELLY DOESN'T DO THIS SHIT OUT OF THE KINDNESS OF HER HEART, YOU KNOW."

When you open your eyes during an attempt at meditation, you see what is truly inside of yourself. If you see a dog's asshole, then it is because you too are a dog's asshole. But if you see the emptiness in the center from which life flows, then you have achieved enlightenment. Also, you smell like a dog's asshole,…

This is EXACTLY what doing yoga in my house is like! Our French Bulldog is like "Oh hey - that mat looks warmer than the floor, my butt must be on it" and our Bug is like "THIS IS SO MUCH FUN ARE WE PLAYING WHAT ARE DOING CAN I LICK YOUR FACE CAN I LAY UNDERNEATH YOU CAN I SIT ON TOP OF YOU YAYAYAYAYAY!"

Is it me, or does that sound like a passage from Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas?

I kind of feel like he's still playing the role of Hunter S Thompson and has been since Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.

Perhaps at the point when that might even be even remotely likely, which is not now.

Considering he's always been this way, it was just charming when he was young and handsome, we can't blame this on dementia.

Is it bad that I'm a POC and I don't care for Black History Month? I just feel like there are far more productive things we could be doing that don't involve setting aside one month where society makes half-assed attempts at having Black people be the subject of trivia.

And there is no way this cleanses one's uterus. Even if your vagina were hanging 0pen without the help of a speculum, your cervix would keep the steam or mist or whatever the hell it is out of your uterus. Thankfully.

"your uterus, et al"

This is most likely harmful, because it will upset the natural vaginal flora, but if it was actually legit steam it would be even more harmful, because it would burn the fuck out of you.

NO, no, the pizza slice would be dressed as the dominatrix. Because the "spicy" pizza is supposed to be the one inflicting the pain.

OH MY GOD
What if your tongue had two little pink arms with little hands... And they would like help move the food around in your mouth and they could massage your gums... And assist in blowjobs... Afterwards it would shake its little hands for a job well done and then they'd get to work picking any pubic hair out of…

That tongue is obviously made of Silly Putty and tears. And nightmares. And I guess wet-look vinyl.

An ad so terrifying that it's only run in a country where people are under regular threat of being blown up by rockets.