I hope the treatment helps save his life, make him healthy again, and cure his addiction to driving.

Your trailer’s writing checks your movie can’t cash!

Because I feel like being a stickler, Puig seems to have a career best 96.3mph throw from the outfield. Here are the fastest statcast throws from last season, which starts in the 98mph range. Amazingly Jackie Bradley Jr threw a ball 103+ from the outfield.

Words to lave by.

I’m having a real Lionel Hutz moment imagining a world where 10 oz of Coke is a large

In the words of the late, great George Carlin: “You don’t need to take a shower every day unless you work out, or work out doors, or for some reason come into intimate contact with huge amounts of filth and garbage. All you really need to do is wash the 4 key area. ARMPITS, ASSHOLE, CROTCH, AND TEETH. And I’ve found…

.... people who like poker but not enough of their friends do to ever get a game together

This okay, too?

Bob Evans, now there's a name I've not heard in a long time..... 

People dress up for Ruth’s Chris?

If you don’t have any family friendly triathlon jokes, I’m afraid I’m just going to have to ask you to leave.  

I recognize that people won’t like the joke. I accept that and respect that, but I won’t change a thing and I would do it all again.

This is a joke Anthony Jeselnik would be proud of.

No one ever said switching to triathlons was easy.  RIP

“400-1: Audio of Trump calling reality show contestants racist names released”

This one, at least, definitely wouldn’t swing a single remaining Trump voter. 

Looks at the Blue Jays pitching staff: Yep. Should have just kept him.

Finally one team from the most hated region in both the US and Canada. 

Parade starts in Montreal, ends in Tampa. Half of Quebec makes that trip in November anyway.

So the idea is you don’t need a domed stadium in Tampa but they’ll potentially be playing their November games in Montreal? That should work out perfectly.

Fuck, just in time for the release of the new Ford Bronco.