the end of the internet right here

People do stupid shit when they get lost and often end up walking in circles, among other things. Also remember you’re dealing with someone who didn’t bother to bring her phone on a hike (was is a Zack Morris phone that was super huge? Was it a Vietnam-era field radio?), and then after eating bugs for 2 weeks+, and…

Oh I fully believe that even in an alternate reality where he co-operates fully with some kind of therapy, there is literally nothing you could say to him that would really get through. He’s lived for 70+ years in a life not unlike a prince in terms of the level of his personal responsibility, or possible empathy to…

Came here for this, well done AD. Also sort of an aside, how was is decided that a) the balls -despite the name- would not actually be soft but also b) why would they have women (who generally speaking have smaller hands) play the version of the sport with the larger balls? (insert ball handling jokes here)

I love Bagals...I have them with tall glasses of Melk all the time

That’s not true, I heard he scored 4 touchdowns in one game for Polk High

He doesn’t. Therapy of any kind implies that there is a possibility that through said therapy, the person could improve. This “man” is so far past help, the light from it takes 20 years to reach him.

Part of it is also that because he clearly has no traditional concept of what a lie is, even if he wasn’t deteriorating mentally (as he very clearly is), it would be absolutely impossible to keep track of all of them. For him, the truth is whatever he says it is, at the moment he says it, and all other bets are off.…

“didn’t tell Chuck or anything”

I actually lasted until “60 course meal when I was in Japan a couple months ago” but then it all made sense. Then when it got to “hey whatever, kids sneeze on me, nbd” it was head shaking time. I really should have stopped at “43 year old San Franciscan.” I say this as a person who happily picked up (and ate) an…

Goddamn it Al Gore, you’ve got your fingers in all kinds of pies, don’t you!

Like some idiot who’s racist, and thinks their message is spreading successfully? You’re right, that is much worse. Worse even than your take.

Was the pokey part of the javelin not in the ground? Who decided to make javelins double ended?

+1 Winnebago lab

Oh a hundred percent. Everything was badass from when you were sort of 13-25, because that’s when everything else in your life was badass. Most of that time you either don’t have a job, or it’s one that’s a joke, and it’s when you’re learning everything about sex and getting to party on the regular with basically no…

I feel like if Tyler Perry was making a movie, and the characters had to go to some event with a ton of white people, and there needed to be a band in the scene, Tyler would go to a PA and ask them who the most obnoxiously white band in the world was. When the PA said “Steely Dan, but Walter Becker is dead, and their…

Top drawer Kinja this

Even more impressive when you consider the incredibly weak material.

So fully this. There is no surer sign that someone is just lazily clinging to their own generation than when you hear “music up to (whatever year they turned about 24 or so) was pretty good, but after that everything was shit.” No, dipshit, music didn’t change and get shitty, you did. Your friends started having kids,…

So, assuming these events even happened (doubtful at best), this is what...comic book guy gets “revenge” on other comic book guy? The levels of lame are off the charts.