Stop watching. It’s liberating. The game time is mostly filled with inaction and penalties anyway.

So I guess maybe if the headsets weren’t working they couldn’t correctly signal to the defense to adjust coverages. Again I’m not as intelligent as all the Pats fans, loyal and football savvy since 2001, but maybe that might have had some effect. But hey welcome to Deadspin Bill Simmons

You forgot to mention 90210.

Sorry, but a black guy getting bad reception in the Boston area doesn't qualify as shocking news

Before any Patriots fans comment:

“If they make mistakes, you know, it’s not like they’re professionals. They’re just amateurs. Kids, really. Young, young boys. So young, these boys. Anyway, what were we talking about?”

Also her definition of fat is size 6 with big tits, so don't get too excited.

Thank god. Hey fatties! You’ve been deemed fuckable by this lady and therefore a person of worth! Congratulations!

I should probably admit right now that I am fat myself. I’m barely 5′1″ and 135 pounds and wear a size 6 and a 34DD

What if there were a way to make quarterbacks, by far the most valuable and least replaceable position, that much less valuable to the operation of an offense?

The same thing is true of coders, but companies understand that they need to take the raw skills developed in college and train new hires. The NFL thinks that employees should come already trained in something outside their degree. Fuck them.

Every other fans during “why your team sucks”- “Ha this is us, this is funny”

Pats fans- “Fuck you Drew you’re just a pats hater. WE ARE TEH BEST TEAM EVER!!!!!1!!!”

can you IMAGINE how many shitty articles Bill Simmons would’ve written if he still had a job? jesus christ.

I wish more Pats fans were like you and just admitted, “yes, they cheated, and I fucking love them for it!” You're much more tolerant than the rest of your lot.

As the proud parent of a 10-year-old website, how does it feel knowing that Lawrence Taylor is just starting to show interest in it?

It kind of is.

It must be great to pick up a hefty paycheck to be an eternal 14 year old.

Yeah, you’re right. That ESPN report totally made the cheating seem like a one-time thing done by a few low-level people and didn’t at all make it seem like every person in the fucking organization believes there is no rule that can’t be broken if it gives you an advantage.

The only people who knew Cardale Jones was starting were Urban Meyer and Bill Belichick.