Hurricane or Hand Grenade?

That's your takeaway here? I'm a helicopter mom because when I cook something I taste it before serving and because when I take my kidlet out I check his food for temp and general non-grossness?

I think the fact that there aren't any lawsuits pending with mention of a kid going to the hospital is a good sign that the kids were alright enough to laugh. tbh, even a 2 yr old drinking a small alcoholic slushie probably wouldn't do much. There couldn't have been even an entire shot of alcohol in that thing. The…

Right? Why the fuck do both the adult and kid versions of the drink include a shark toy? That seems an easy way to differentiate because most kids will lose their shit when not receiving an expected toy (kids meal toy, prize in cereal box, etc.).

They should also be visually distinct, so if the server *does* mis-enter them, when they get them from the bar they think, "nope, that's the wrong thing" before they give them to the kids.

that is because sweet wine is foul

I can say, as the father of a toddler, that a toddler's willingness to consume something is inversely proportional to how much the parent wants them to have it. It's like they have psychic powers, so I assume a toddler can slam down alcohol like Boris Yeltsin.

This article was definitely the funniest review of the medical literature that I've done today.

Actually, cookies like those shown in the video... we would usually call them cookies, not biscuits. A chocolate chip cookie is always a cookie. Although now that I've typed it so many times, "cookie" is starting to sound in my head like it's not a real word.

The internet suggests that the thing you call a flapjack would be what I'd call a granola bar.

Agree with this so much. The fact that you can fall for somebody else while you're in a relationship means that that relationship wasn't right.

Oh man, so much of this is good... but this? This is incorrect.

I love everything about this... I think I might like John Oliver more than Jon Stewart now.. maybe still a tie...

I love Cookie Monster. He was always my favorite and he just gets better with age.

Damn that Jolene.

I'm doing this next year:

this is literally what your insides look like.

DO NOT PEE ON JELLYFISH STINGS. DO NOT PEE ON JELLYFISH STINGS. DO NOT PEE ON JELLYFISH STINGS.

He is judging me right now for my choice of stretchy yoga pants with the holes, but you know what? I judge him right back when he decides to lick his butt-hole in front of company.