“(*N&#^ TGGTV 6GHDGDD91na89”

- Peter Gammons

Since this is the Browns, I half expected to hear that they hired Jonah Hill.

I’ve argued that, actually, Kanye’s a better lyricist than Kendrick Lamar.

There was a factoid during one of the Lions games this year that none of their full-time head coaches since 1957 ever served as a head coach again. This job seems worse somehow.

I know there are only 32 of these jobs and they tend to pay really well, but why would anybody with prospects tarnish their resume with this one?

They just want to try and tackle New Years Eve without any practice and preparation? Amateurs...

Yeah, this is bouncer 101- do not let in bloodied drunken sots.

Johnny Manziel was right, videos can be old. And droopy.

I can’t believe you guys tracked down Derek Anderson

Do you have any proof that video was from yesterday and not just a random Tuesday morning?

I doubt he thinks all the victims wanted it and are lying. I bet you anything his though process goes like this: Each individual time he assaulted one of those women he was doing something wrong. But not that wrong. Not bad-guy level wrong. Because how much suffering could one little encounter with his penis cause a…

Holy shit: the “I hate the fucking Browns, I hate them so god damn much” guy… You can just hear it. The way the lunacy, desperation, and ultimately hatred is consuming any positive feelings he once had for a team he was raised to love by some cruel, uncaring family. Family toward which he may now reflexively harbor…

He’s truly the shruggie emoticon, incarnate.

Hi. I’m the author of that post. Now that I’ve been asked this question over text and IM a half dozen times, I think I would slot it between #9 and #10.

Give him his Deadspin Hall of Fame nomination now at least. If the dictionary needs an image for the word “Welp”, this is it.

That second one is some found-footage horror shit.

This is really long and I didn’t read it.

I’m confused. Shouldn’t a drunken bum who enjoys prostitutes be celebrated in Cleveland??

Turn those Browns upside down.