I'm nine and a half years sober as of six days ago. I quit drinking when I was 25. A lot of people said the same things you just said here. "Questionable maturity" "Likes to party like normal people his age".

I have as much snark as anyone here. I hate ESPN more than everyone here. But I got to meet Stuart Scott, and he is a better man than you think he is. Maybe the sweetest, most genuine individual in the business. I wasn't one of those who liked his on-air style, but what he did off-air? What he did with his fame?…

Shitting their pants in a bowl game. He must have forgotten that he's not playing for Florida STATE.

Correction: the Browns have that first round pick. And their 4th.

I write this in all seriousness.

I used to sell Apple Computers on a college campus. The requirements they give make this look positively sane, both in merchandising and marketing. One special note I can remember is that all of the keyboards have to line up on a display and be five inches from the edge of the table. When they inspect, they can…

I am a Kings fan and a Browns fan. I went into Sunday with hope for the future and some self-respect for the first time in a decade. I stumbled out of Sunday with both my teams positioned firmly as the laughing stocks of their respective leagues. Leagues that have both the Sixers and the Raiders as members.

Moral victories in boxing can get you killed. Just saying.

It's actually illegal to do a spin move in flag football.

This is offensive to me. They left out half-breed and mutt, which is what I am. Oh wait... those aren't banned either? Even though they dig at a person's ethnic background? Add two more to the list of banned words. I'm sure there are others out there that we need to add too. Let's just keep going until we ban…

The saddest thing in life is wasted talent. Wow. God bless him and his family.

good thing I won't shit my dick. My dick done been shitted on this site already

"This is why women can't be allowed to truly know Christ. They never get his sense of humor." - The Catholic Church

Well that's the secret!

Before the game, Matheny said he viewed Wacha as his "second lefty" out of the pen, because of how effective his change-up is against lefties.

Austin 3:16 says I just shit my dick.

I'm going to start training now. This is my new strategy. The Cock Punch. I will be heavyweight champion in a year. First round knockouts every time. Bow before me, mutants.

• KINJA! It makes you a better writer by erasing your posts suddenly and forcing you to start from scratch!

I hope my wife doesn't see this. I told her five inches was as big as they get. Damn it, Deadspin.