Well put. Nine years, three months, one day and a day at a time here. I didn't have a family in the years I drank. Lived in an apartment, had a halfass job, played poker and drank until I fell asleep in my car in the parking lot. Dated, but only as an excuse to drink and fuck up those dates so I could opine about how…

I interrupt my usual snippy retorts to give a serious comment:

Best thing ever. PLEASE do one for Jimmer Fredette when he's traded to Utah.

With six all-pros, seven picks in the first four rounds and two in the first, and 60 million in cap room. Yeah, you need to shut your mouth. Idiot.

Leave it up to my fellow Cuban brother to socialize the process. Muchas gracias, amigo. Joda el sistema.

Playing "Hide the Midget". Sounds like the latest Steubenville defense.

Just imagine how horrible my Browns' O would be if they didn't "waste" that 2nd round pick on Josh Gordon. Historically bad.

Aaron Hernandez.

Answer: Whatever the fuck Brock Lesnar wants his pants to do.

I don't think I could even drive that without being exhausted.

Shanahan had an even more Confused Old Man Face than he does every other moment of the game.

Blue Blazer.

If the only Vince Vaughn film you remotely enjoyed was Old School, that means you didn't remotely enjoy Swingers. In which case you have to give back both your Man Card and your Movie Critic Card. Because Swingers is tha shiznit.

When did the definition of the word "cool" change to mean "stupid waste of time"? Though props to the comment section on this page. Creative and entertaining as always.

Dear Bone-A-Fone,

A full report on Mr. Martin's health is forthcoming, but judging from the reaction of his teammates, it seems he may have a case of Complex Organic Olfactory Total Internal Ecchhh Syndrome (COOTIES).

Mullin, Vivek, and the rest of the front office are having a blast. A couple days ago they called in to 1140AM's sports morning show, saying they were surfers from Santa Barbara who wanted to talk about the Kings. Too much fun.

+10000000000