Who talks like this? What does this sentence even mean? Even if there was no “Becky with the good hair” context to put it in...what kind of communication is she attempting here? A light-hearted joke...about what?

She still didn't explain why she said that. Why.

Well, it’s based in A truth. I have no idea what’s going on with them, but I know for a fact that a lot of us have experience those kinds of things.

September/October 2007 I was in a private room at a restaurant with Jay Z and he was definitely there waiting for a woman that wasn’t Beyonce, and they left together but made lots of efforts to not look like they were leaving together.

Ahhh thank you! This is AMAZING and I am totally doing it.

What gets me about the Rachel Roy rumors is that it seems like more of a calculated Alpha move against Dame Dash than an unbridled sexual affair.

Oh my god. Please tell me more about this drinking game so I can duplicate it.

She made antagonizing comment on IG. Beyoncé didn't mention her by name and may not even be talking about her.

Damn, that sounds like a crazy thing to do. I feel like she’s gonna get some death threats...

This lone dog in Brooklyn is actually all of us arguing over shift work at the co-op and that we need to redefine what artisinal truly means.

I tend to get traveler’s constipation, and after getting back from Costa Rica, several days went by until I realized “hey, I haven’t shat in almost two weeks.” (I too am an infrequent pooper.) Took a laxative, nothing. Next day, another laxative, still nothing. Gave myself an enema and oh my god. I was SOBBING because…

After my last baby was born I was constipated for days from the meds and the surgery. I even was taking the stool softeners, which didn’t help. I had to do the laxatives and the enema. My husband could hear me crying for over an hour in the bathroom. I thought I would die. Seriously, taking that shit hurt worse than…

I always forget they exist... seriously I’ve watched that dumb show for longer than I care to admit and I couldn’t name them. Mason? is that one? I guess it’s good that Kourtney doesn’t parade her kids around for attention as much as Kim.

I had hookworms as a kid. Tiny, white, wiggly worms that live in your butthole. I saw one sticking out of my poop one day and told my mom, who thought I was just being paranoid and told me to ignore it. Flash forward a few weeks later and it feels like my ass is full of broken glass. I go to take a dump, thinking it…

Oh god, I remember hanging on to the sides of the toilet as I shat what felt like a 2 liter bottle. After breaking my foot, the fucking painkillers I got clogged me up, but also made me forget that I hadn’t pooped in forevs, so when I finally did realize, oh hey no poop for 7 days, that stool softener didn’t do shit.…

yeah my first thought was “pumpkin seeds! they were pumpkin seeeeeeeeds!” *grumpy cat face*

NO, my classmates were surprisingly chill! I mean it was obvious right then that I was sick as fuck so when I came back to school it was like it’d never happened. Big ups to my Snipes Elementary 2nd/3rd grade combo class in Wilmington, NC! You guys were da best.

I have. But thanks to my IBS, I am literally always constipated. So instead I ended up with terrible cramps, a fever, and the saliva-filling thing your mouth does right before you puke (without actually puking) for about twelve hours. Not a fun time.

Barry, Barry, Barry, The horrors the female body is capable of know no bounds. This is going to be a shit show of epic proportions. I still have nightmares after reading the thing about the sunflower seeds on Jezebel. Us dudes just can't keep up with them. No Funbag poop stories have ever come close.