NO RAGRETS #YOLO BUTT CHUG.

what it said: Full disclosure: Ornstein was a professor of mine in graduate school.

penalty kick

Coincidentally, someone left the exact same note on the back of a bar napkin by the endzone of Soldier Field.

Perhaps by not consuming the insane amount of drugs that allow the drug cartels to buy the police in Mexico? If you do not buy your marihuana in a dispensary in one of the state's that legalized it then no, your marihuana probably does not come from Canada, the money you pay for it probably fuels the violence in…

Oh, she’s already been there. TruFact: adultosaur is Lorde irl. It’s supposed to be a secret, so shh.

Well, it’s all about how much it can haul. Obviously, a doucheschooner hauls more than a douchecanoe, though both pale before the douchefreighter.

There’s a fairly simple solution to this type of problem. Hire a few fake trainees to ride with trainers. Let trainers know that this could be happening and fire trainers who don’t know how to act like something other than pigs.

Manager: “Did you get their order right this time?”

I believe I would be the one murmurring “Welcome aboard” to Mr. Stamos.

I think I can speak for Yoko by saying:

The existential distress is coming from inside the house! The existential distress is coming from inside the house!

I know; I love Iowa.

I am Mexican. I for random reasons have documents. But I have many relatives and friends who are EXACTLY like me in every possible measure but have no documents. I do not consider myself any different from an undocumented Mexican but I can and will vote and I will make sure that me and my kids NEVER forget this. For…

I prefer the Ecto-Cooler of self awareness personally.

A coworker did this to me at the electronics store I worked for in my early 20s. She stole $1500 from my drawer, finished her shift, and never came back. The investigators came in about a week later and scared the crap out of me, but I’m pretty sure they knew it was her.

And then spray her in the face with the little squirt bottle reserved exactly for these instances of being a horrible person.

Early one mornin’ while makin’ the rounds
I took a shot and sleeping medication and shot my woman down
I went right home and I went to bed
I stuck that lovin’ forty-four beneath my head.

I moved into an apartment with bootleg cable/internet and I did not find out for three years til my boyfriend moved in and had cable installed. I forget why but he was mucking around setting things up before the dude got there and we had cable and internet already, handily stolen from the downstairs neighbor. THis was…

The apartment or the bible?