Whenever I assume Big Businesses’ progressive initiatives are such blatant pandering anyone with a third grade education could see past the charade, someone comes along and says, “you should support Target, they’re friends of the gays!” No, Mary, they’re not. They’re friends of the shareholders, and legally obligated…

Catalina?

I hate to beer shame, but Ultra? You’re going to prison for Ultra?

Horror fiction has its place, but this is not it. Good story for somewhere else, though. Maybe try Reddit?

It’s $.42. If that’s going to fuck with your entire day, I suggest finding some better priorities. 

It’s obviously battered fish.

“...it’s a price to pay for being hospitable.”

Can we take the skinheads bowling afterward?

Do all of that, and then follow up with a nasty letter to Salty Waitress about how they didn’t tip you.

As Leah Chase, Anthony Bourdain, and a host of others have shown us... Food is often what unites us, what can bring us to open and frank discussions. I’ve seen some despicable people and politicians come across my tables. I’ve also seen them come across and share a meal with people I greatly respect who were opposites…

Making sure these assholes never know a moment of peace in a public place for the rest of their lives is the job of private citizens anyway, not the hospitality staff.

Kudos! That's a great feeling, and I appreciate the Good Humor about it.

So she’s getting her just desserts?

This is the worst comment of all.

Hey Kate...is a leaky corpse a sandwich?

Next time I bang my toe on the coffee table, my safe-word nonsense swear will now be, “SWEET PICKLE SALAD DRESSING!”

Totally. But seriously...how the hell is Taco Bell out of hard and soft shells? That’s pretty wild. 

It looks very casual, even with the full skirt, for meeting a figurehead. 

They are a horror movie.