It’s like Amy and Sami Bouzaglo’s version of daycare.

I just installed a barcode scanner for my phone that will let me know who owns the company that makes the product. I suspect I’ll be coming home with local goat cheese and eggs and that’s about it on future shopping trips.

As I recently posted on Facebook, I just bought a Buck knife for myself but I probably won’t know how to use it as it didn’t come in pink.

My god, is that BD Wong?

I’m just getting around to reading “Medium Raw” by Anthony Bourdain and NOW I understand what “vacationing in St. Bart’s” is all about. When I say “no thanks” it is decidedly not sour grapes.

I have heard the pope’s voice on the subject and in flawless English, he murmured, “A bit tetched in the head.”

“Too Many Davises” is going to be the title of the ripped-from-the-headlines Lifetime movie.

With the recent surge in gas prices, this becomes the most expensive meal ever served to two people at Longhorn*.

I used to get bladder infections CONSTANTLY when I was dating my first husband. They used to call it Honeymoon Syndrome back in the day - I ended up having to have my urethra “scraped” with increasing-sized metal tubes (I’m sure there’s a name for that procedure I’ve since forgotten).

White Snake, actually. What? Too soon?

My first job was at JCPenney, where a manager STOLE FROM MY TILL at the candy department. He intentionally did it only to my till so it would appear it was me. I got called into the security department where I was actually very gently questioned - I’m pretty sure they were onto the guy. They did end up letting him go…

On one of our first dates, my husband ordered a chardonnay. The bartender and I rolled our eyes and set him straight. Granted, he’d just turned 21 AND chardonnay was back in its sucky stage - he recently had an AWESOME unoaked that turned things around.

I was born with a dislocated hip and had tons of surgeries growing up, so surgery doesn’t scare me in the least. That being said, I am SO glad I had my gallbladder out after my third “episode” drove me to finding out what the hell the problem was. Plus, morphine for a couple days! Get it outta there - just know that…

I moved into an apartment in which I found a Bible hollowed out in the shape of a gun. I really wish I’d kept it.

Oh, a pudgy pie!

Oh yes. My husband used to fly weekly to install wireless across the country and they could always count on little things disappearing, like drill bit sets. They kept buying them (on the company dime) and packing them so that the actual drills wouldn’t disappear.

I forgot to mention that the DJ’s interpretation of “some Vivaldi during dinner” was “The Dance of the Sugarplum Fairies.” It was an AMAZING moment of everyone freezing, then doing the WTF side-eye. We just laughed our asses off.

Also, no. Amazon sells earring backs both ways. There are scant other products that are sold “as used” and “with attached weird stuff you have to take off.”

HA! “Millestoni’s” reminds me of the time we were out in the boat on Okauchee Lake and my dad was excited about the new Mexican restaurant that recently opened - La Eside. I tried not to laugh too hard when I pointed out that it’s the same old Lakeside Bait Shop but the “k” had fallen off the sign.

Yep, I was going to school at UW-Madison and stayed up all night to watch the early morning coverage. Does anyone else remember Jane Pauley getting punch-drunk and giggling wildly when she tried to describe Diana’s post-wedding attire as, “She’s wearing a pumpkin...” and instead of finishing it with “colored dress”…